Today, we will look at the spiritual implications of trauma. I am combining the spiritual and emotional impacts of trauma because they are so connected. When facing traumatic events, one can experience extreme emotions. It is also possible to have a faith crisis.
A crisis of faith can result from what has been termed cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a theory formulated by Leon Festinger in the 1950s. This theory states that when an individual holds two or more elements of knowledge relevant to each other but inconsistent with each other, a state of discomfort is created. Spiritually, this can lead individuals to believe their faith is being challenged and what they were taught is now questioned[i].
Churches have correctly taught that God is good. But when facing a traumatic event, God’s goodness can be questioned. We can struggle to understand why certain events happen. For example, we have a loved one killed in a motor vehicle accident. To make matters worse, the other driver was drunk and hit your loved one at a high rate of speed. The driver walks away with little or no injuries. When I was sixteen, my thirteen-year-old brother was killed in a hunting accident. He was killed when a gun we were using went off even though the safety was engaged. He was killed instantly.
When such events happen, we can question the goodness of God. We often ask, “Why God?” Why would God allow my brother to be killed at such a young age? Why at that time? How could a good God allow this to happen? These unanswered questions can draw us into a wave of anger toward God and others. We can begin to blame God. Sometimes we blame ourselves for an event that is beyond our control. And, of course, we blame others.
We need to know that asking the why question is natural during trauma. But, unfortunately, the answer that often comes to those facing trauma is to suck it up! It could be worse! Or have more faith. Now I believe in faith, and I am a man of faith, but I also know that telling someone just to have faith is not enough. For example, Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good..” This Scripture expresses an absolute truth, but it is hard to grasp this concept even though we know it to be true when dealing with severe trauma. The problem is that this one Scripture can be overused. Because this passage is misused, it can do more damage than good. People do not need an overused scripture thrown at them because we do not know what to say or do under the circumstances.
Secondly, we have been taught that God loves us. When trauma happens, we think that God does not love us as much as He did. As we begin to question the “why” of tragic events, we can also doubt His love. When we doubt His love, several things can happen. For one, we can reject God as being unloving and harsh. Secondly, we can strive and work for His love. Finally, we strive for a love that is already available to us.
Striving for God’s love creates another layer to the trauma experience. Can you imagine someone experiencing extreme trauma and at the same time feeling unloved? And, to make matters worse, they feel unloved by God. For a good part of my life, I struggled to get God’s approval and get people’s approval. I did not feel loved because I had a poor understanding of love. I grew up in several different family environments. Some were good and some bad. At least two of these environments were not healthy, and I developed an unhealthy view of love and myself. But, I am so glad that I have grown to understand that God loves me regardless. I may not be faithful to Him, but He still loves me. His love is not contingent on what I know but on what He has already done. As a result, I do not beat myself up as much as I did in the past. And my love for others is healthy, and I do not strive for love as much as I did.
Sometimes, church, work, and family environments produce an atmosphere of guilt, shame, and fear. Leaders manage people through fear and guilt. They handle things through an atmosphere of control. So, when trauma happens, people are filled with shame, guilt, and fear. Rather than experiencing the warmth of God’s love and others, they feel rejected and unloved. The reality is that many will not share their true selves and mask who they are. They will cover and hide how they feel when engaged in these environments. They will pretend to be okay so as not to be judged by those around them. They pretend to be okay because they fear the guilt and judgment that will come if they are honest.
Most organizations which include churches, are not equipped to handle trauma. Admittedly, it is a challenge to deal with severe traumatic events. Too often, as noted last week, too many pastors proclaim you need to have faith, and this will pass. They will share their pet passages even if they do not apply to the circumstances presented. They are not equipped to handle the complexity of trauma. In addition, many churches are not equipped to handle the plethora of emotions revealed through trauma.
Leaders of churches and other organizations must learn how to handle trauma and conflict better. For example, I have been listening to podcasts by Christianity Today! The podcasts discuss the rise and fall of Mars Hill and Mark Driscoll. They refer to spiritual trauma experienced due to an attitude of hostility and anger in the church, mainly by Mark himself. There is no doubt many great things that happened for the kingdom of God through Mark and Mars Hills. However, this success has been clouded by the events and the demise of Mars Hill.[ii]
In this post, it may appear that I am coming against the church and organizational structures. I am not against good churches and organizations. I am concerned about environments that produce shame, guilt, and fear more than grace, love, and healing. Many great churches and organizations attempt to do what is right. They have instituted systems that present an atmosphere where it is healthy to deal with trauma and issues without fear, guilt, or excessive control by the leadership.
Let us mention two of them. First, the Sussex County Emergency Medical Services Organization in Delaware has instituted systems to help employees deal with trauma in healthy and productive ways. Second, our home church, Hill City RVA in Richmond, VA, has also established positive systems to assist people in positive ways without judging them personally. We will discuss these organizations more in the future.
Finally, as I close this discussion if you feel unloved, know you are loved. You are loved more than you will ever know! Know that trauma takes time. Do not let anyone push you to do things you are not ready to do. Also, if you are dealing with fear, anger, and shame, forgiveness is the best thing you can do! Forgive God, forgive others, and forgive yourself.
Join us next week as we look at the power of forgiveness related to trauma. See you next week.
[i] Bonura, Dean. 2019. “Post-Traumatic Stress Spirituality and Trauma.” NP. The Warrior’s Journey. Acessed March 15, 2020. https://thewarriorsjourney.org/challenges/spiritual-truam/.
[ii] Christianity Today. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/podcasts/rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill/. These podcasts consists of 13 sessions dealing with spiritual trauma. The hosts of the program deal with the growth of the mega church and the challenges that can come from the speed of the growth. In one of the podcasts, the speakers share that Mark Driscoll’s ability outpaced his character. This is the case in many environments that produce unhealthy systems for dealing with problems.
Life on the edge 