Robert W. Odom Ph. D.
I recently read an article by Joanna Gaines in which she stated that we can shift our rhythm in life. You know how it goes. We have developed a way of doing things and a pattern of how we approach life. But when that rhythm is upset or out of tune (to continue the musical analogy), we are impacted, and life changes as we know it.
Many things can impact our rhythm of life. We all experienced this when COVID-19 hit in 2020. Many could no longer go to work, children were home from school, and people could not gather or interact face-to-face. The pattern of how we lived life was turned upside down.
Other events affect the rhythm of our lives. One of these is when you lose a loved one to death. Just this week, I spoke to someone whose best friend took their own life. There were no warning signs, and that has impacted him emotionally and mentally. Their family and friends were devastated. They missed the clues about what he was about to do.
I spoke to someone else whose wife recently had a miscarriage, and they are struggling with the concept that somehow it was their fault and that they wish they had done things differently. The reality is that it is not their fault at all. Another person lost their father after a short but brutal battle with cancer.
The things that can change the rhythm of life can also be a lost job, a divorce, or a severe health diagnosis. It can be having your home broken into; now you are fearful and no longer feel safe. Anyway, I think you get the idea.
These events create a void, an empty space. They cause the rhythm of life to get out of focus and out of step. This can cause anxiety and stress in ways that one can not imagine. We feel overwhelmed and out of sorts.
One of the things that Joanna said in her article was that when this happens, we can allow it to impact us negatively, or we can realize that through this, we can recognize that great possibilities are available. As devastating as these things are, life is not over for us. We can regroup and refocus to reestablish a new rhythm or a new normal. This does not mean that we forget the person or event that occurred. But we learn to navigate this process in a way that brings healing and a new way of processing life.
There are a few things that you can do to reestablish a rhythm in life. The first is to give yourself permission to acknowledge and name the emotions that you are feeling. If you are angry, acknowledge it. If you are ashamed, acknowledge it. Whatever the emotion, identify it and face the problem. Too often, we can avoid our emotions because they are painful, and we do not know how to handle them effectively. We were frequently taught to hide our feelings and mask what was happening. For others, there are a lot of emotions, but there is no definition or plan to process the emotion. Still, others fear judgment if emotions are expressed.
A second key to reestablishing the rhythm of life is to care for yourself. Eat right, take a walk, and avoid the excesses we sometimes go to feel better about ourselves. These might be drugs, alcohol, work, sex, and remuneration about the past. To care for oneself is to do what one is ready to do. Do not be forced to speed up the process if you are unready. In time, you will be, until then, live in the moment, be present. But do something.
Aligning ourselves spiritually is critical in these times. One of the rhythms of life is the discipline of meditation, prayer, and scripture reading. It is okay to sit quietly and not say anything—just be in God’s presence. Meditate. Listen to music that calms your spirit. The point is to align ourselves with God’s plan and purpose for us and to quiet our hearts.
Another is to avoid isolation. Sometimes, when the rhythms of life are out of sorts, we can isolate and avoid others. This can be difficult as we want to hide—we want to hide from the chaos of life. But too much isolation is a negative thing. It increases the feeling of loneliness and forces us to avoid the very thing we need sometimes.
So let me ask you:
- Where is your rhythm of life out of sorts? Be specific.
- What are the causes of these issues? One way to do this is to evaluate the emotions that you are experiencing. Define them. And then work through these emotions.
- What actions can you take to restore a new rhythm of life? Take just one of the above suggestions and focus on that for now.
- Where are you isolating, and where do you need to come out of “hiding?” Are you hiding from others, yourself, or your emotions?
© Robert W. Odom 2024
Life on the edge 