A few weeks ago, we were sightseeing in Richmond when the battery light on our car came on. Fortunately, we could keep the vehicle running and made it home. As we entered the parking area at our apartment complex, the car died, and we rolled into our usual parking spot. That was a miracle, as we could have stalled out anywhere along the way.
As I considered this, one thing was for sure. We had a problem, and it was there before the car died. How did I know there was a problem? The light on the dashboard had come on, and now the car would not start. The light on the car told us that there was a problem. We knew it was the charging system but needed to know the problem precisely. To figure this out, we needed to diagnose the problem and get it fixed. In this case, the alternator had stopped working and needed to be replaced.
I have chuckled at how people try to resolve issues with warning lights. Rather than fix the problem, they try to fix the light. One person took duct tape and covered up a warning light that kept coming on. Another person removed the bulb (which was probably more complicated than the problem itself). And yet another just ignored the light and justified that it was not a problem. These three scenarios ended in costly repairs because they did not heed the warnings.
As humans, we have been created with a warning light system that lets us know when there is a problem. These lights are our emotions. Our emotions are generally not the problem. They point to things that are happening within us and around us. As with the car, we do not always realize the real problem, but heeding the warning light leads us to discover the problem. Once again, the warning light is not the problem. It only warns us of a problem.
The lights for our emotional dashboard are critical. We can respond to the warning, ignore it, or push it away. For example, we may be grieving a loss. A warning light shines because we are sad and feel the loss. When we recognize this, we can respond in diverse ways. We can try to cover up and hide the emotions we are feeling. We can ignore them, or we can respond positively.
The one difference between the warning lights in our cars and our emotions is that when the warning lights of emotions are realized, it does not mean that we are broken or unhealthy. It means we are experiencing life and its emotional space. The difference is how we respond to the lights.
I have a friend who is generally very balanced in how he responds to problems. He is a paramedic and, on one occasion, had a series of nasty calls on one of his shifts. Because of his usual way of dealing with issues, he tried to hide his emotions and continue to work as expected. He tried to be stoic and ignore the emotions he was experiencing. However, a few days later, he was short-fused, angry, and more impatient than ever. This was outside his character and the usual way he responded to issues.
After having an in-depth conversation with him, we concluded that rather than dealing with the issues earlier, he tried to ignore and hide from them. After all, he had been taught that men do not have emotions, primarily expressed through crying. Towards the end of the conversation, he was permitted to express his emotions and began crying. He was able to release the pain and sadness he was experiencing. I spoke to him the following week, and he said he was living in a healthier space.
The lesson is that we need to face our emotions head-on. We cannot hide them or pretend they do not exist. Doing so impacts our physical, mental, and spiritual bodies. We experience anger, self-pity, resentment, and other such responses. However, the more we face our pain and emotions, the healthier we become.
Do yourself a favor and confront your emotions. Rather than hide them, present them in the open. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, scream. If you feel like exhibiting your anger in healthy ways, get angry. I think you get the picture.
So let me ask you:
- What emotions do you experience that never seem to go away?
- Are these emotions trying to tell you something about yourself? If so, what?
- Where are you trying to ignore or hide your emotions? How does that make you feel? And what steps do you need to take to bring change?
- What emotion do you need to pull out of hiding and deal with it?
© Robert Odom RVA, LLC.
Life on the edge 