I just finished a lecture series at the University of Richmond for the Osher Professional Development Department. The series was on navigating grief. At the end of the series, one of the questions and subsequent discussion was what documents should be in place to help in end-of-life planning. I will share some of these with you in this blog.
Getting this documentation in order will not alleviate grief but will help to minimize the emotional stress related to making decisions for your loved one. There is no greater stress than making decisions when we do not understand what our loved one wants. This can be complicated when multiple people are involved in making the decisions. These documents will also address what care should be provided at the end of life.
Please note that I am not an attorney or accountant, and I suggest you contact either of these for details and guidance. This is critical because laws differ from state to state. Also, because this blog is read internationally, the laws will vary from country to country. Therefore, seeking professional guidance is essential. I suggest that you discuss the medical forms with your primary care physician.
The first document is a Medical Directive form. This form is also known as Do Not Resuscitate (DNR). In many cases, this form will outline the care you wish to have if a viable life is no longer possible. This includes resuscitation, feeding tubes, breathing assistance, and unnecessary surgeries. This form will assist the family or significant others in understanding what the individual wants. I suggest you discuss this form with your family, primary care physician, and attorney.
The second document is the Medical Power of Attorney. This form appoints someone in case the individual can no longer make medical decisions. It should also be considered that a secondary name be submitted if the first cannot perform the duties.
The third document is the Power of Attorney. This person is assigned to make financial decisions for individuals who can no longer make these decisions. This appointment is good until the person passes. After this, the executor will step in.
The fourth document is a Will. This document will detail the individual’s wishes regarding their possessions and inheritance. The document will also establish an executor to settle the individual’s estate. I have suggested that a list be attached to the will regarding who should receive specific items.
Finally, a Living Trust should be considered. A living trust places all the assets into a trust that will protect the assets upon the passing of one’s loved one. This will, in most cases, avoid Probate Court. It is noted that this should be established at least five years before the passing of the loved one. In so doing, this will minimize the tax implications.
When these documents are completed, it is necessary to supply copies to those handling these end-of-life events. For example, with the medical directive, the one tasked with being the Medical Power of Attorney should have a copy and one’s primary care physician. In some cases, as in Virginia, a medical directive central processing center allows you to submit the documentation.
It has also been suggested that an End-of-Life file or notebook be set up. This would include a copy of the above documents plus the following. It should consist of a copy of life insurance policies and a list of debts with account numbers. It has also been suggested that a list of passwords be available. Also, include any information that would be needed to satisfy the financial wishes you may have.
While this may be a difficult process, it is a necessary one. I encourage you to consider these things. Consult with your lawyer, primary care physician, and family.
So let me ask you.
- Have you completed the above documents? If so, which do you need?
- Are there areas where this may be a struggle? Write down what you are feeling and the emotions that are being revealed.
- Make a list of who should receive this information. Make some time to speak with each person.
- Finally, as noted, find professional help to guide you in developing these documents.
© Robert W. Odom 2023
Life on the edge 