Robert W. Odom Ph. D.
In my last post, I began a conversation about loneliness. I want to continue that discussion here today. Last time we took an overview of loneliness. Today, my purpose is to consider and offer suggestions for helping with loneliness.
First, we need to connect with others when feeling lonely. This is not always easy, especially when trust is crucial to our loneliness. But be intentional and take a step in connecting. Find groups or individuals who have similar likes. Meet with them and have fun.
Second, sometimes we have to push through our fears and anxiety. This is not always easy, but it is critical to dimmish the feelings of loneliness. Once we push through the fear, we may find that it is not as hard as we thought. This action will be worth pushing through the fear and anxiety to find a new normal on the other side.
Third, if it is too difficult to push through, talk with a friend and have them hold you accountable for pushing through. They can encourage you and keep you focused on what matters. Be ready for them to push you to connect. Know they love you and want the best for you.
Fourth, if the emotional trauma of loneliness persists, you may need counseling. This is a good thing. A good counselor can uncover emotional, mental, or experiential reasons why loneliness affects us. They can help you understand why you feel lonely and prescribe ways to overcome it. You might be surprised at what is revealed and equally surprised at how you can transverse the pain of loneliness to live a new day.
As a pastor and chaplain, I cannot help but turn to Scripture for help. We need others in our life. That is why connecting with others is so important. The words of Solomon, who was one of the wisest men alive, spoke these words in Ecclesiastes. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can they keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Solomon was able to explain the need for friendship and connecting with others. There is safety in connection. Two can get more accomplished. When they fall or return to unhealthy ways of handling emotional issues, others will be able to help. When needing protection, others can help us find our way. That is why we need others.
I know this does not answer all of the problems with loneliness but are steps to assist in overcoming loneliness. But as I close this, I will offer specific possibilities for connecting.
- Join groups that do things you enjoy. It might be golf, fishing, hobbies, cooking classes, foodie groups, sports activities, or other social groups. Take a class. Learn something new.
- Be physically active. This increases the endorphins, which makes us feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically.
- Be intentional about staying in touch with family and friends. Being intentional can help us connect with others. If we are not intentional, we may never connect and build relationships.
- Find a faith-based organization that provides small groups.
- Volunteer at organizations that need help. Food banks, nursing homes, community groups, and others.
Finally, prayer is a huge help in combatting loneliness. Prayer connects us with God. Prayer touches our emotions and helps us overcome the void in our life.
So let me ask you:
- Are you feeling lonely? Please describe this feeling and the emotions you are experiencing.
- What steps are you taking to overcome your anxiety and fears?
- What friends or associates can you connect with?
- Do you have a faith-based community to join? If so, what steps can you take to make this happen?
- Are there social or community groups you can join? Make a list of these organizations. And then contact them to see how you can volunteer.
- Pray for God to help you overcome these fears and the anxiety of loneliness. You will not regret it.
© Robert W. Odom, 2003
Life on the edge 