Tag Archives: guilt

July 6, 2023 · 2:27 pm

I Need A Favor

Robert W. Odom Ph. D.

As many of you know, I love to take illustrations from life to make Biblical statements. I recently heard a song on the radio that made me think about grief and prayer. The song is “I Need A Favor” by Jelly Roll. It is an interesting song because the singer is transparent about the struggle to have a marginal relationship with God. This struggle is highlighted by how some only pray during a major crisis. Because of the struggles one has, they wonder if God will hear them. Sometimes all we can do is throw up Hail Mary prayers and hope God hears them.

We can feel that way when we face traumatic events that lead to grief. We want to pray but know we have yet to do so consistently. We have only prayed when we have a crisis; now that we have a crisis, we are afraid God will not answer.  We are worried that if we pray, God will not hear us. But let me assure you that He does. He will answer.

Grief is confusing enough without the guilt or feeling that we are not a good person or are not praying enough. The fact is that many people do not think God accepts them. They do not feel good enough. So instead of turning to God, they turn elsewhere to find relief.

Unfortunately, the church has not done much to help this scenario as they sometimes make you feel you must be a part of the club for God to listen to you. We think we must be a part of the in-crowd of Jesus to be accepted. The church does not always intend to do this, but we can make people feel like they are second-class citizens and need to rise to a certain level before they can pray or seek God. I do not include every church in this because I do not want to broad-brush the church. Some congregations see the need to accept people right where they are. They are doing this and they are reaching people with grace and mercy.

When I was younger, I attended a “revival” service, and a young couple went to the altar in response to the call. She was wearing a halter top and hot pants. He had cut-off jeans and a T-shirt. I was amazed that the evangelist instructed the couple to go home and change clothes. The man was to cut his hair. If they did this, they could return, and he would lead them in the sinner’s prayer.

Let me say this. There are so many things wrong with this on so many levels. It is no wonder that Jelly Roll has penned the words he has.  The church can unintentionally (and intentionally) set up roadblocks. But, I find that Jesus was accused of eating with sinners. He went to the lowly and the confused. He went to the woman at the well, who was rejected on many levels. He went to the demon-possessed. He went to the Samaritan, who had been rejected by the religious organization of Jesus’ day. I could go on but you get the picture.

With that said, I wonder how many never approach God or the church because of guilt and fear of acceptance. How many people reject God because of what the church has done? I also wonder what would happen if we made churches safe places for people to reach out. What would our communities look like if we permitted people to be who they are and meet God where they are? This does not mean we compromise the gospel, but rather it enables the power of the gospel to reach all people. Rather than roadblocks we need to be avenues for people to reach out to God.

Finally, if you find yourself in the position of being afraid of asking God for anything, let me say God accepts you right where you are. You do not have to pass an entrance exam. If you pray, He will hear you. This means wherever you are; he will be there. Whatever you have done, He will listen. Give it a try and see what happens.

So let me ask you:

  • What would your church look like if it were a safe place for all people to meet with God?
  • What in your life needs to change to be more accepting and less judgmental of others?
  • What are you holding back because you fear what the church or religious organization will do if the truth is exposed?
  • If you are afraid of not being accepted by the church or the people, continue to search for a church that provides a safe place. They are out there. What would that church look like for you?

© Robert W. Odom 2023

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September 15, 2022 · 10:20 am

I Don’t Think I Am a Pharisee, But I AM

I have always been interested in the Pharisees and their style of leadership. Not that I wanted to be a Pharisee, although I probably am more like the Pharisees than I care to admit.

The Pharisees were one of the groups of religious leaders of Jesus’ day. They seemed to rub Jesus wrong because they were pious spiritual zealots. They knew the sacred law, but they misused and abused these laws for personal gain and to control those under their leadership. As I have studied the Pharisaical attitude, I see several characteristics that define a Pharisee.

The Pharisees were good at setting rules or adding to the rules already in place. They took the good and made it a burden. What was meant to set boundaries became bondage because it was impossible to remember every one of the rules, much less keep them! And watch out because the Pharisees would undoubtedly point out when you were not obeying the rules. For the Pharisees, the rules were more important than people. They used the rules to keep people in line, creating an environment filled with guilt, condemnation, and hypocrisy. This environment caused people to look at the outward person and not so much at the person’s heart. This environment caused people to give up and lose sight of who Jesus was. This was the cause of much of the traumatic injury of that day.

Today this still happens as we set rules for who can be in “our club.” And, we keep people out who do not follow the rules as we have designed them. We determine what a person in our club should look like, how they act, whom they vote for, and much more. If you disagree, don’t apply.

Pharisees judged others, and thus they ostracized people. They thought their prayers were better because their prayers were lengthy. They would stand on the street corner and pray with a loud voice. They would use many complicated words to show how educated and spiritual they were. The Pharisees judged how others dressed, where they lived, how much money they made, and how spiritual they were. They judged others based on their position, title, education, or lack thereof. They had the unique ability to make themselves look better by putting others down. They looked down on people who did not fit their view of who people should be or what they should look like.

Pharisees were more concerned about outward appearance than heart transformation. If one dressed right and acted correctly, they were in the good graces of the Pharisee, but when they did not, they were judged and condemned. If they did not follow the rules, they were rejected and became outcasts. Today, we judge and ostracize people because of their political views, attire, whether or not they have tattoos or piercings, religious affiliation, and racial identity. We judge the heart of people without knowing their stories or history. We judge those who do not look like us or believe what we believe.

In the world of the Pharisees, traditions were elevated to a higher level than biblical truth. They held to the law of Moses and man more than the law of God. They kept to the rules that were man-made but lacked grace and failed the test of godliness. They seemed more upset about people breaking tradition than keeping God’s Word.

Today the church is deeply passionate about traditions. What style is our music, contemporary or traditional? How should we dress in church, casual or suit and tie? Do we sing hymns, choruses, or contemporary music? Some churches have strict membership rules, and others have few requirements. There are so many “traditions” we purport as the gospel truth that has little to do with Biblical truth or salvation, for that matter. These ideas are more about personal preference than spiritual truth.

The Pharisees reacted when their power was threatened. There was no doubt that Jesus threatened their power, and thus they wanted to get rid of Him. On several occasions, they set a trap with their words. They tried to trap Him with theological questions and accusations. They accused Jesus of eating with sinners. They judged Him when He allowed a “sinful” woman to wash His feet.  They accused Jesus of breaking Sabbatical laws when He healed a man on the Sabbath. They questioned the way Jesus fasted. It goes on and on!

While it is easy for me to judge the Pharisees, I must ask myself if I present the attitude of a Pharisee. The answer is, unfortunately, that I do. I can judge others. I can be critical when people do not match my expectations. I can become angry when I feel that my power is being tested. I can judge people more about their outward appearance than their hearts.

I am not perfect, but I am growing. I still deal with a Pharisaical mindset. But I am aware of it, which is an excellent place to start. Recognizing a weakness is the first step to becoming stronger and more like Christ. And is that not the goal we have as passionate followers of Christ? 

As I close this, let me ask you a question. How about you? Where do you see the Pharisaical attitude in your life? Do you judge more on the outward appearance than the heart? Do you create laws and standards that add to God’s law? Do you hold to traditions that are good but never intended to replace God’s word or plan for your life? Do these traditions cause unnecessary division in the church? Do they ostracize more people than bring people together?

I ask today that you pray and ask God to reveal any Pharisaical attitudes, be bold and wise enough to admit them, and then allow God to heal you.

Copyright Robert W. Odom, 2022

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March 12, 2017 · 5:21 pm

What Motivates You?

Peninsula Community Church

What Motivates You?

March 12, 2017

Nehemiah 2:9-12 Then I came to the governors of the province Beyond the River and gave them the king’s letters. Now the king had sent with me officers of the army and horsemen. But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite servant heard this, it displeased them greatly that someone had come to seek the welfare of the people of Israel. So I went to Jerusalem and was there three days. Then I arose in the night, I and a few men with me. And I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem.

This week I shared a story with someone about our son who was known for sleeping to the very last minute. Not only would he sleep to the last minute but he would also sleep so soundly that it would take a bulldozer to get him out of bed. This was an ongoing battle with him. But one Saturday morning I heard a rustling noise downstairs, so I got up and when I got downstairs I was surprised to find my son sitting at the kitchen table, dressed, and eating a bowl of cereal. Now mind you this was at 5:30 in the morning. I stood in front of him with my mouth and jaw on the ground because I could not believe that this was my son.

Why was he up this early? Why was he dressed and eating breakfast? He was motivated to do so. You see he was headed to an amusement park with his girlfriend and her family. Because he was motivated, he did not require much in the way of persuasion to get up and get dressed. It was easy for him. The motivation of his heart drove him to do what was necessary to get ready on time.

The truth of the matter is that we are all motivated by something or someone. The things that  motivate us aid in formulating our reaction to God’s will and His purpose in our life. In our story today, we see the comparison of two motivations. The motivation of Sanballat and Tobiah stand juxtaposed against the motivation of Nehemiah. As we look at Sanballat, we find that his motivation was based in selfishness, jealously, and fear. On the other hand, we find that Nehemiah’s motivation was based in an unshakable faith in God and the trust that God was in control of everything.

As you remember in our previous messages, Nehemiah had returned to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. He was in the center of God’s will and yet he encountered resistance from those who had been in the city and who were its rulers. He could have given up hope but because he was motivated by a higher calling and a deeper commitment to God, he did not give up nor did he give in to the pressures of life even though he would have been justified in doing so. Because of his faith, he was able to endure the testing of his heart.

On the other hand, we have two men who were antagonistic toward the rebuilding of the city. The reason for this was that they had a vested interest in the failure of the city. They did not want the city to succeed. It is noteworthy that Sanballat’s name means “bramble brush – enemy in secret.” It is also important to note, in his day, his name was most often used for a girl’s name. So you can imagine the life he had. He lived with a girl’s name which meant enemy in hiding. How many close friends do you think he had? Tobiah on the other hand had a very spiritual name. His name meant “God is good.” Here is the problem though. Rather than believe in the destiny that had been given him, his life was lived in opposition to what he had been called to. The problem was that he allowed people like Sanballat to distort and destroy His vision of God and of himself.

The enemy of our soul loves nothing more than to force us to live outside the destiny in which we have been called. He is good at getting us to believe the lies and the things spoken to us by others. How sad was the commentary of Tobiah’s life. Rather than living out his destiny he was falling short of and in fact was working hard to impact the work of God negatively. But why is this so? You see I believe it is because his motivation was misplaced. He lived in fear and had placed his trust in Sanballat who was being motivated more by fear rather than trust in God.

Notice the language of our text. We find three things that point to the motivation of Sanballat’s heart. We find that he was displeased with the fact that someone was taking a interest in the condition of the city and the walls around Jerusalem. Here is the clincher, he had been living there and had no concern for its condition until someone else came along to care for the city. His motivation was wrong because his heart was in the wrong place. Listen to Nehemiah’s words and how he described their heart. But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite servant and Geshem the Arab heard of it, they jeered at us and despised us and said, “What is this thing that you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king? (Nehemiah 2:19). Do you see Sanballat’s and Tobiah’s heart here?

They despised what Nehemiah and Israel was doing. He jeered at them while they were building the walls. You see to jeer is “to taunt, mock, scoff at, ridicule, sneer at, deride, insult, abuse, or heckle.” He made fun of Nehemiah and the work to be done. They were also using false accusation. He accused them of wanting to rebel against the king which was far from the truth. In fact, Nehemiah had sought the king’s blessing before he arrived so his desire was far from  rebellion. You see when someone’s heart is wrong or their motivation is misplaced they will resort to tactics that wound and hurt rather than build up. They will seek to destroy others in their path so that they feel better about themselves. So you see the motivation of their heart was disconnected from the truth.

Before we close we must also look at Nehemiah whose motivation and heart was in the right place. He trusted God and we find this in his words. Then I replied to them, “The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build, but you have no portion or right or claim in Jerusalem” (Nehemiah 2:20). The motivation of Nehemiah’s heart was his trust in God. He knew that God would cause them to be successful. His motivation was founded in the fact that God was faithful and that He would keep his promises. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. It was at this moment that the reality of this promise was about to be fulfilled. God was going to keep His word and that is what motivated Nehemiah’s heart. Nehemiah also believed that God would empower them to fulfill His purposes. God did not lead them to this point in time without seeing the work all of the way through. Nehemiah was motivated by the promise and hope of God.

So what motivates you today? When our heart is not on God we will focus on the wrong things. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:21 that where our treasure is there our heart will be. Will we focus on that which is eternal or will we focus on that which is disposable and will be destroyed in the end? The things in this world will be destroyed but that which is eternal will last forever.

The fact is there is much emotion that can serve to motivate us. First of all, we can be motivated by anger. Anger is a poor motivator as anger is often based in hurts and disappointments that come from failed circumstances, broken promises, and wounded spirits. When we are motivated by anger the tendency is that we externalize the anger which results in treating the world and others as our enemy. In our anger, we often become self-righteous and blind to the truth.

We can also be motivated by fear. When we are motivated by fear we tend to lose our ability to think for ourselves. Fear unfortunately begins to drive our decisions and actions. Sometimes fear comes because we have tried and failed before and thus there is a fear in us that prevents us from trying anything again. Someone has said that we are born with two fears. One is the fear of falling and the other is a fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned or developed which means they can be unlearned. Uncontrolled fear binds us and keeps us from ever moving forward in the things of God. Paul reminded Timothy that we have not been given a spirit of fear but love power and a sound mind. Hear his words. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:6-9).

We can also be motivated by passion and lust. The problem with passion and lust is that we desire what we cannot have.We want to consume things for ourselves. James reminds us that the reason there is so much turmoil in life is that the passions within us are at war (James 4:1). We want and cannot have so we murder and fight and quarrel. The result is division and more hurt and pain.

We are also motivated by guilt. Guilt is not nor has it been a good motivator for our actions. Guilt and fear are cousins. When we are motivated by guilt we do not know how to say no. We will do things not because we believe the are the right things to do but because we do not want to upset someone and or we fear rejection. We are fearful of failure so out of guilt we do the things that we do.

Finally, Paul reminds us that the love should compel us to obedience. We should be motivated by love. For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised (2 Corinthians 5:14-15). The motivation of our heart will determine our success. When we are motivated by God and His truth nothing can stop us and nothing can hold us back.

The problem with being motivated by love is that we forget or we can struggle to believe that God loves us regardless of what we have done or for that matter not done. We can believe that because we have committed a particular sin that we are no longer loved or accepted by God. You see when we are motivated by fear, guilt, passion, lust, or anger it is hard to have a right perspective of God’s love and therefore it is hard to believe that God loves us. I am reminded of one of the stories that Kyle Idleman shared in his book “Not a Fan.” Let me read the story from the book. Some of you today may be asking that same question of God. Do you still love me? You ask that question because you believe that the stain of your life is too great and can’d be cleaned but if you listen you will hear the emphatic cry of God’s heart. He loves us, Oh how He loves us.

As we focus our attention upon power of Christ to forgive and on the power of His love to redeem us watch this video which features Matt Chandler, pastor of the Village in Texas and John Piper, pastor emeritus of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota and the song Oh How He loves Me by the Crowder band. Use this as a time for spiritual inspection. Ask God to show you today what is your key motivating factor in living life. Is it guilt, fear, passion, or anger. Or do you truly love God and desire His love to be manifested in  your life.

For an audio of this message go to http://pccministry.org/media.php?pageID=14

Copyright © 2017 All Rights Reserved Robert W. Odom

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