Monthly Archives: December 2024

December 21, 2024 · 12:57 pm

Promises Given, Promises Broken

Robert Odom PhD

I love this season of celebration and the focus on the gift of Christ. In this Advent season, a little child reminds us of the love, hope, peace, and joy that is ours. These are not just empty promises but can be a present reality when we open our hearts and minds to receive them.

For some, when we talk about promises, we feel awkward sadness, or maybe there is distrust in any promise given. This comes because we are living with broken promises, rejection, and feelings of betrayal. For so many, this is a reality that must be lived out on a daily basis.

We can struggle in our lives when promises made become promises broken. People promise us that they will be there for us, but as soon as we need them, they are nowhere to be found. Your employer promises you a promotion, but it is never realized. You are promised that you will get a raise, and that never happens. A loved one says they will love you forever, but they leave you when things get rough. We can become frustrated when we do not see promises fulfilled.

While this is a truth we live with, there is also another reality that is true. While people let us down and make promises they will never keep, God, in His unwavering faithfulness, will fulfill His promises. The problem is that it is hard to believe someone we cannot see when those in our lives have let us down.

I recognize this dissonance and struggle to believe, so I ask that you try something. For one month would you ask God to bring life from the ashes of your life? Would you ask Him to fill you with the joy, peace, love, and hope promised in this season of miracles? Do this every day.

I share this not as some formula for success but as a way to focus our minds and hearts on what could be. As you pray, consider what joy would look like for you. What will peace look like for you? What will true love look like for you? What will hope look like for you? Invite God to reveal these to you. They are gifts, and as with any gift, we need to receive them.

As you do this, look more at what can be rather than what is. Again, this is not a formula but an opportunity to refocus on what can be. When Paul wrote his letter to the church at Philippi, he argued for a life filled with joy and peace.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8 ESV).

So let me ask you:

  • Where is your focus today? Is it on the broken promises, or the potential for what could be? Let’s shift our focus to the promises of God, the hope of a better future, and the joy that can be found in His love.
  • Which do you need the most? Is it joy, peace, love, or hope? Which one did you choose and why?
  • Are you willing for 30 days to focus on the gifts that God has given? What changes do you need to make to see this happen?
  • I encourage you to begin a gratitude journal. This will help you track your journey in these 30 days. In the journal, you can be honest and raw about your emotions and what you are feeling as you navigate this experience. It’s a tool to help you stay focused on the positive and the promises of God.

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December 14, 2024 · 12:22 pm

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Robert W. Odom PhD

In 1984, Tina Turner released a song titled “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” The song title proposes a great question. I want to look at the subject of love today. By the way, I think love has everything to do with it. That is God’s love.

Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. We use the word love for so many things. I love my wife, good food, Alabama football, driving through the country, and enjoying the scenery. I love many things, but my love for these things is not equal.

As we delve into scripture, we discover that God is love personified. The Bible unequivocally proclaims that God is love. He is the very embodiment of love. The Bible reveals that He loved us before we even knew Him. Even more astounding is that He loved us before the world was created. This revelation is nothing short of mind-blowing. How could He love me, with all my imperfections and shortcomings? And how could He love me before I even existed? I cannot fathom the depth of His love, but I am humbled by it.

In life, we love to have representations of love. For example, rings are exchanged at weddings to show one’s love and commitment to one’s partner. God showed His love by sending His son to represent God’s love here on earth. He showed us how to love our neighbors and those who did not deserve love by society’s standards.

He healed the demonic, the broken, and the blind. All of these had been rejected, isolated, and condemned by the religious leaders and by the community they lived. He forgave the woman caught in adultery, and yet he spoke into the hearts of her accusers so that they did not have any grounds to follow through with their plan of death (John 7:53-8:11).

The greatest of all gifts is that He chose to give His life for us so we could live fully and completely. John wrote in 1 John 3:16 (it is no coincidence that this parallels John 3:16) that we know true love by the gift of God on the cross. Jesus did not talk a big game; He lived out and put into action His love. That is why John challenges us to love not just in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).

I recently had a conversation with a Catholic priest who has become a friend to me. One of the thoughts that surfaced from our discussion was that we often say we are believers in Christ but treat people in awful ways. This is most often exhibited through hate, bitterness, and anger.  We can live in a space of division and pride rather than a place of humility and love. We can divide people according to our preconceived list of sins and who we believe deserves to be in.

But that is not how God sees love. The truth is that we are to love others. Jesus was once asked which of the commandments was the most important. Jesus, as only Jesus could, answered wisely. He stated that the prophets and the law can be summed up in two commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40).

This scripture is profound in its simplicity. It instructs us to love God with all our hearts and souls. If we can love God wholeheartedly, we can extend that love to our neighbors. But to truly love our neighbors, we must first love ourselves. Often, we attempt to love God and ourselves while carrying the burden of brokenness, hurt, and pain. Only when we seek healing from our pain and properly understand ourselves as God’s creation can we love fully.

The question that was posed in Jesus’ time remains relevant today: Who is my neighbor? The answer is beautifully simple. Every person we encounter is our neighbor. It’s the grumpy neighbor next door, the challenging coworker, the seemingly inattentive grocery store clerk, and even the distracted driver next to us. Love transcends all boundaries and includes everyone.   

So let me ask you?

  • Who is your neighbor? Be specific.
  • When we say God is love and that Jesus represents that love, how do you react to that understanding?
  • Where do you struggle to show love? Who are the people in your life that you find hard to love?
  • What steps can you take to love them and others?
  • Do you love yourself? That is, do you see yourself being loved by God? If not, name specific areas in your life that might be a struggle. Commit that to prayer and ask God to help you.
  • Mediate on 1 John and prayerfully consider the power of love exhibited in this text.

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Robert W. Odom PhD

In 1984, Tina Turner released a song titled “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” The song title proposes a great question. I want to look at the subject of love today. By the way, I think love has everything to do with it. That is God’s love.

Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. We use the word love for so many things. I love my wife, good food, Alabama football, driving through the country, and enjoying the scenery. I love many things, but my love for these things is not equal.

As we delve into scripture, we discover that God is love personified. The Bible unequivocally proclaims that God is love. He is the very embodiment of love. The Bible reveals that He loved us before we even knew Him. Even more astounding is that He loved us before the world was created. This revelation is nothing short of mind-blowing. How could He love me, with all my imperfections and shortcomings? And how could He love me before I even existed? I cannot fathom the depth of His love, but I am humbled by it.

In life, we love to have representations of love. For example, rings are exchanged at weddings to show one’s love and commitment to one’s partner. God showed His love by sending His son to represent God’s love here on earth. He showed us how to love our neighbors and those who did not deserve love by society’s standards.

He healed the demonic, the broken, and the blind. All of these had been rejected, isolated, and condemned by the religious leaders and by the community they lived. He forgave the woman caught in adultery, and yet he spoke into the hearts of her accusers so that they did not have any grounds to follow through with their plan of death (John 7:53-8:11).

The greatest of all gifts is that He chose to give His life for us so we could live fully and completely. John wrote in 1 John 3:16 (it is no coincidence that this parallels John 3:16) that we know true love by the gift of God on the cross. Jesus did not talk a big game; He lived out and put into action His love. That is why John challenges us to love not just in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).

I recently had a conversation with a Catholic priest who has become a friend to me. One of the thoughts that surfaced from our discussion was that we often say we are believers in Christ but treat people in awful ways. This is most often exhibited through hate, bitterness, and anger.  We can live in a space of division and pride rather than a place of humility and love. We can divide people according to our preconceived list of sins and who we believe deserves to be in.

But that is not how God sees love. The truth is that we are to love others. Jesus was once asked which of the commandments was the most important. Jesus, as only Jesus could, answered wisely. He stated that the prophets and the law can be summed up in two commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40).

This scripture is profound in its simplicity. It instructs us to love God with all our hearts and souls. If we can love God wholeheartedly, we can extend that love to our neighbors. But to truly love our neighbors, we must first love ourselves. Often, we attempt to love God and ourselves while carrying the burden of brokenness, hurt, and pain. Only when we seek healing from our pain and properly understand ourselves as God’s creation can we love fully.

The question that was posed in Jesus’ time remains relevant today: Who is my neighbor? The answer is beautifully simple. Every person we encounter is our neighbor. It’s the grumpy neighbor next door, the challenging coworker, the seemingly inattentive grocery store clerk, and even the distracted driver next to us. Love transcends all boundaries and includes everyone.   

So let me ask you?

  • Who is your neighbor? Be specific.
  • When we say God is love and that Jesus represents that love, how do you react to that understanding?
  • Where do you struggle to show love? Who are the people in your life that you find hard to love?
  • What steps can you take to love them and others?
  • Do you love yourself? That is, do you see yourself being loved by God? If not, name specific areas in your life that might be a struggle. Commit that to prayer and ask God to help you.
  • Mediate on 1 John and prayerfully consider the power of love exhibited in this text.

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December 7, 2024 · 11:23 am

Navigating the Holidays While Grieving

Robert Odom PhD

Today, I want to focus on navigating the holidays when we are grieving. These will not be hard and fast rules, but hopefully, they will aid those facing this Christmas season without their loved ones. While everyone else is celebrating, there is an ache in your heart. This ache and your grief come from a place of loss because someone you love is no longer with you. This is a natural and human response to grief, and it is okay to feel a range of emotions during this time.

How do we navigate grief? First, we must understand that each of us has a unique journey through grief. We all handle it differently, and this can even vary within the same family. Some may feel the need to celebrate, while others may seem less affected by the loss, and some may be deeply impacted. It is all part of the individual’s unique process of healing.

The key point here is to be honest with yourself and with others. What are your expectations for this Christmas? Are you ready emotionally and physically to celebrate as you have in the past? Or do you prefer to scale down the rituals of Christmas? This does not mean that we do not focus on the gift of Christ but rather on the rituals of Christmas. This brings us to a second way to navigate the Holiday season.

It’s crucial to set boundaries and refrain from doing things you’re not ready for. You know your capacity and desire to celebrate. Give yourself the freedom not to do everything as you had in the past. It is okay not to have a tree or a large gathering of people. You may be ready for that next year. If you are not prepared to attend certain events, saying no is okay. You can always leave early if it becomes too overwhelming. Remember, your feelings and needs are valid, and setting boundaries is a powerful way to take control of your holiday experience.

Thirdly, it is essential to communicate your needs and expectations for the holidays. Whether it is through a letter, a family meeting, or any other means, make sure to express your feelings. This way, there will be no surprises, and you will feel more in control of the situation. Remember, it is better to communicate sooner rather than later.

When communicating, you can discuss your emotions and what you are feeling at the given moment. You can describe what you feel you are ready to do and how much you are willing to do it. You can also process any new rituals you may desire, such as lighting a candle in memory of your loved one or creating a memory board.

Fourth, connect with others. This may seem contrary to what we discussed earlier, but it may be helpful to connect with others. Go to church, volunteer, or do whatever is right for you. Sometimes, in grief, we isolate, and that can deepen our grief responses. By connecting, we are moving to a space where we feel that we are not alone.

The key to all of this is to be honest with ourselves. It is okay to do what you can to connect in new ways and start new rituals if necessary. Remember that God loves you and wants to help you navigate the emotional responses to the holiday. Be honest with yourself about your feelings, your needs, and your capacity to celebrate. Your experience is valid, and navigating the holidays in a way that feels right for you is okay.

So let me ask you.

  • What are your expectations for the Christmas season?
  • How can you communicate these expectations to your family, friends, and coworkers?
  • What activities do you feel ready to connect to? What does that look like to you?
  • What boundaries do you need to set for this year?

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