Tag Archives: faith

June 14, 2026 · 6:33 pm

Learning to Say NO!

Bob Odom, PhD, GC-C

Last week, I wrote about the power of forgiveness. This week, I want to talk about how my past led me to become a people pleaser.

Yes, I said it. For most of my life, I was a people pleaser. It is not easy to admit, but it is true.

I wanted people to be happy with me. I was afraid of failure and worried that people would not love or accept me. Deep inside, I feared that if I made a mistake or let someone down, they might stop caring about me altogether.

Let me explain how that came to be.

As I shared last week, I grew up with an abusive stepfather. When I was twelve years old, I moved in with my biological father, whom I had not officially met until that point.

To tell the complete story, things had become so difficult at home that my stepfather’s sister came one evening, packed my bags, and took me to live with her. During the following year, she helped arrange for me to move in with my father. At the end of the school year, I packed my bags once again, met my dad at the local junior high school, loaded everything I owned, and moved from Texas to Mobile, Alabama, where I had been born.

Life was better there, but it came with its own challenges.

My father was a good man, but he was stoic and rarely talked about personal matters. Looking back, I realize that I spent many years trying to earn his approval. When I felt I had fallen short, I simply worked harder and tried more. Without realizing it, I began to measure my worth by what I accomplished and by whether others were pleased with me.

That pattern followed me into adulthood.

By most standards, I was successful. I became a leader early in nearly every position I held. I served as a Business Operations Manager for Grumman Aerospace and later pastored four wonderful churches. I served on Mission ministry boards, helped to start a Christian school, a major food pantry that now serves at least 4 locations at this time. Yet despite those accomplishments, there was always a voice in the back of my mind pushing me to do more, achieve more, and make sure everyone around me was happy.

What I failed to see was how much my need for approval was driving my life.

The problem became especially apparent when I found myself trying to please two different people at the same time. To satisfy one person often meant disappointing another. No matter what decision I made, someone was going to be unhappy. I had become trapped in the false belief that it was my responsibility to keep everyone happy.

Over time, God began bringing healing into this area of my life. One moment, in particular, stands out. A boss once asked me to stay late and work overtime. I already had a family commitment and could not stay. For the first time in my life, I simply said, “No, I can’t stay.”

What surprised me was what happened next.

I did not explain myself. I did not offer excuses. I did not feel guilty. I simply stated that I could not stay.

And do you know what happened?

They said, “Okay.”

That may not sound like a significant moment, but for me it was life changing. In that brief exchange, I learned an important lesson. I could say no and still be respected. I could disappoint someone without losing their acceptance. I could establish a healthy boundary without carrying guilt.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that we cannot make everyone happy. No matter how hard we try, someone will eventually be disappointed. When we spend our lives chasing the approval of others, we surrender our peace and often lose sight of who we really are.

The Apostle Paul addressed this struggle directly in Galatians 1:10 when he wrote, “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Paul understood that our highest calling is not to gain the approval of people but to be faithful to God. I missed that for years. I was trying to be faithful to God and at the same time trying to get the approval of others.

Our worth is not determined by the opinions of others. It is found in understanding who we are and whose we are.

Today, I still care deeply about people. I still want to help others and be a source of encouragement. But I no longer feel responsible for keeping everyone happy.

That is a burden I was never meant to carry.

Perhaps some of you can relate. If so, know that it is okay to say no. It is okay to set boundaries. And it is okay to stop carrying responsibilities that were never yours in the first place.

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June 7, 2026 · 8:59 am

Lessons Learned at 70: The Power of Forgiveness

Dr Bob Odom

June 2026

In a few weeks, I will turn 70 years old. As I reflect on the journey God has given me, I find myself thinking about the lessons I have learned along the way. Over the next few articles, I would like to share some of those lessons and the stories behind them.

As I look at my life, I realize that I have been blessed beyond words. I also know that my life could have easily taken a very different path.

My story began before I was even born. My parents divorced, and my mother left to find herself. As a result, I was dropped off at my grandmother’s house. When I was six years old, my mother remarried and wanted me to come live with her.

For a while, things seemed fine. But my stepfather struggled with issues that would eventually affect our entire family. When he was sober, he could be one of the kindest men you would ever meet. When he drank, however, he became abusive—emotionally, mentally, and physically.

His discipline was often excessive and cruel. One punishment required me, at seven or eight years old, to stand facing a wall on one foot. If my raised foot touched the ground, he would slap me and restart the clock. This would continue for long periods while my mother pleaded with him and arguments erupted around me.

On another occasion, he wanted to see what would happen if he drove nails through a paddle-ball board and used it to strike someone. I became the test subject. He made me remove my pants and hit me repeatedly. I could barely sit down for days afterward.

While my stepfather was abusive, my mother became overprotective. She rarely allowed me to have friends over, and I was never permitted to visit other children’s homes. She feared that people would discover what was happening inside our house.

Because my stepfather spent much of his money on alcohol, my mother had to work. Long before the term existed, I became a latchkey kid. In the mornings, I often had Carnation Instant Breakfast before heading to school. In the evenings, I came home to a TV dinner that I heated myself. I completed my homework and hoped my stepfather would not come home. If he did, I retreated to my room. Books became my refuge. I loved to read and often lost myself in stories that took me far away from the realities of home.

Why share these memories? Over the years I came to understand that my stepfather was fighting demons he could never overcome. That understanding does not excuse his actions, but it does help explain them. Eventually, he traveled to Montana and rented a cabin. A week later he was found there, surrounded by empty vodka bottles, having taken his own life with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The demons won.

By that time, I had not seen him in fifteen years. I had moved to New York, married, and started a family of my own. Yet something significant had already begun to happen in my heart. Before I received news of his death, I had started the difficult process of forgiveness.

I realized that if I wanted to grow and heal, I needed to forgive—not only my stepfather, but also my mother. Forgiveness was not easy, nor did it happen overnight. But I knew that if I continued carrying the pain and anger, I would spend the rest of my life reacting to my past instead of living in the present.

As I learned to forgive, I felt the weight of those old wounds begin to lift. My heart found peace. When I heard that my stepfather had died, I expected to feel relief. Instead, I felt sadness. One of my greatest disappointments was knowing that I would never have the opportunity to tell him personally that I forgave him.

Years later, however, God provided an unexpected gift. After reconnecting with my mother, I visited Texas and spent time with one of my stepbrothers. During our conversation, he shared something that deeply moved me. He told me that my stepfather had said that if he ever saw me again, he wanted him to tell me he was sorry for everything he had done. Those words did not erase the past, but they brought a measure of healing and closure I never expected to receive.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in seventy years is the power of forgiveness. We forgive because we need healing. We forgive because it allows us to move forward. We forgive because it frees our hearts to love and our minds to be transformed.

Someone once said that refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. They don’t. We are the ones who suffer.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It does not excuse wrongdoing. It does not erase consequences. What it does is release the hold that another person’s actions have on our lives. When we forgive, we stop allowing the person who hurt us to control our future. We release them, and in doing so, we release ourselves.

Is forgiveness easy? Not at all. It is one of the hardest choices we will ever make. Yet it is also one of the most freeing. Forgiveness has the power to save us from being prisoners of our past and opens the door to a healthier future. As I look back on seventy years of life, I can say without hesitation that forgiveness changed mine.

To be continued:

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May 29, 2026 · 2:26 pm

Finding Ourselves Again After Trauma

By Bob Odom PhD, GC-C

Emma Heming Willis, wife of Bruce Willis, has spoken openly about the toll of caregiving after Bruce’s diagnosis with frontotemporal dementia. In reflecting on her journey, she shared that she had become so consumed by caregiving that she began to lose touch with herself—what she enjoyed, what made her happy, and even what she needed. Her book, The Unexpected Journey, focuses on finding strength, hope, and oneself while walking the caregiving path.  

This comment and the thoughts I have been processing is how people who faced trauma, grief, caregiving, and other life struggles can find themselves in a place where they no longer know who they are. For so long, their focus has been on surviving, caring for others, and healing from personal wounds that, somewhere along the way, they lose themselves. Many become defined by the trauma, the illness, the loss, or the responsibility placed upon them.

This is a common experience for those navigating grief, trauma, and caregiving. Yet, in many ways, this struggle is nothing new. Since the beginning of humanity, people have wrestled with identity and purpose. The difficulty becomes even greater when trauma—whether “big T” trauma or “little t” trauma—begins to shape how we see ourselves.

This reminds me of the parable of the sower. The seed is planted, but the thorns grow up and choke out what is good. In the same way, the cares of life, wounds of the past, and burdens we carry can choke out joy, peace, purpose, and identity.

So what do we do when we feel lost?

First, we acknowledge where we are. We acknowledge the pain. We acknowledge the confusion. We acknowledge that we may not know who we are right now. Recognition is often the first step toward healing.

Second, we begin to imagine and dream again. We ask, “What brings me joy? What gives me life? What has God placed within me that has been buried beneath the weight of survival?” Give your self permission to do something that brings you joy. Go to a movie. Have dinner with friends. Go for a walk. Take a trip.

Biblically, we do this by leaning into prayer, the Word of God, and the counsel of trusted people who will help guide us toward healing. Paul reminds us in Romans 12:2 that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. Too often, the cares and struggles of life conform us into something God never intended. But through His grace, our minds, hearts, and lives can be renewed. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to write the narrative in our minds. It is a narrative that replaces the narrative that I hav lost my self with one that says I have life. I have hope. I am a creation of God who is defined by God’s purposes.

Finding ourselves is not simply going back to who we were before the trauma. It is about learning to heal, love, live, and find life after what happened. It is about finding a new normal and a new life.

This week, choose one thing that brings you joy. Do it for yourself. Do it without guilt. Do it without regret. Even if it feels strange at first, let it be one small step toward finding yourself again.

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September 28, 2025 · 11:52 am

Peace In the Storm

Dr. Bob Odom

September 28, 2025

If we listen to the news, it doesn’t take much to become discouraged, anxious, and fearful. With the shooting of Charlie Kirk, three officers in Pennsylvania being shot and killed, and a host of other adverse news events, it is hard to have peace. We add to this life-changing medical diagnoses such as liver disease, cancer, and respiratory disease.

It is challenging to find peace when our world seems to be in turmoil. What we held to as a security has changed, and we do not know what the future holds.

To understand peace, we must have a clear and accurate view of what peace entails. Too often, we believe that peace is the absence of problems and difficulties. The truth is that true peace comes amid the issues and challenges. It is not the absence of difficulty.

Just this past week, I met people facing challenging situations. Their world is in chaos because of family issues and complex health issues, but many of them stated that, amid the problems, they are at peace.

When I asked why they felt at peace, they said they knew God had them. They trust God to help them through the situation. One of the families stated that this has been a season for them to reorder their lives and focus on what is essential.   

The Bible is replete with Scripture that speaks to the theme of peace. The Old Testament prophet Isaiah stated that we will experience perfect peace when our minds are focused on God. In other words, we must reorder and refocus our lives toward trust and believing that God has us. He is for us, and He will not let us go.

In His message to the disciples, Jesus reminded them that in this world, they would face trials and various challenges. At the same time, He stated that He had come to bring peace in a chaotic world. The peace we are talking about is a peace that comes from a heart that is resolute about hope and the future.

When I read the story of Joseph, the one thing that stands out to me is that the Bible reminds us that no matter what happened to Joseph, “the Lord was with Joseph.” To fully understand this, we must review what Joseph had been through. He had been rejected by his brothers and sold into slavery. He had been falsely accused. He had broken promises. He was forgotten while being locked up in prison. But God was there.

In time, things changed, and he was remembered by those who had made promises, and he was restored to the right place. The point here, however, is that while his world was turned upside down, he was at peace because he knew that God was with him. He was living his life in turmoil, yet he found peace on his journey.

So, what are you going through? Are you in a difficult situation? Does your world seem upside down? Amid this, how is your peace? Where is your trust? What practical steps can one take to refocus their mind on God during difficult times? How can individuals maintain peace when faced with overwhelming circumstances? In what ways can one’s faith directly influence one’s experience of peace despite life’s challenges?

Isaiah reminds us that our peace is contingent on where we focus. If we focus on the problem or the difficulty, we will be discouraged and lose hope. But if we are focused on God, then we will walk in peace and have a hope that lasts.

Let me be the first to say this is easier said than done. Life issues can control everything else. But things change when we rest in God and His way of life. I love what our pastor said in a message a couple of weeks ago. He stated that with grief (or other life issues), there is a tension between grief and hope. That is so true.

There is tension between dealing with life’s issues and living in hope that comes from focusing on God. This does not minimize the problems we face, nor does it deny them. It reframes and refocuses on the discussion and how we approach these difficulties. Our hope and faith support us. Remember, just as God was with Joseph, He will be with you, and that is what matters most.  

So, let me ask you.

·      What are the problems and issues you face in your life?

·      Where do you feel the tension between hope and grief?

·      Where do you need to reframe or refocus your life to align with God’s purpose for life?

·      My challenge to you is to list your problems and then consider how you can reframe this discussion to focus on hope and peace.

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June 21, 2025 · 8:50 am

Being Seen and Heard

Dr. Bob Odom

One of my life lessons is that people want to be seen and heard. Since the dawn of humanity, humans have desired to be seen and heard. They want to be valued. From the time one is born, there is an innate longing and desire for acceptance. Babies cry for attention, food, and diaper changes. They want to be seen and heard. And in their immaturity, crying is the only tool at their disposal.

Beyond infancy, this primal yearning explains why society often erupts into movements and voices raised in unison. Whether it is a plea for justice, equality, or simply a better way of life, these collective actions are fueled by the desire to ensure no voice is lost in the crowd, no face fades into obscurity. When people feel unseen or unheard, they become restless, sometimes desperate, and often resilient in demanding the world to take notice.

As I was thinking about this, I thought about many of the protests around the country. There are protests for and against Trump. There are protests for and against Israel/Palestine. There are protests for and against abortion and women’s rights. There are many reasons for this, but one reason is that people want to be heard and seen.

As I was reading Matthew 6 this week, I was surprised by what I saw. I was drawn specifically to the verses (6:5-8) that came just before the Lord’s Prayer. For some reason, I felt sympathy for the characters represented in these verses. Let me share what I mean with you. Normally, when I read this passage, I feel judgment and a bit of pride that I am not like them. But then I suddenly realized that they wanted to be heard and seen.  

When Jesus presents this story, he says, “Do not pray like the hypocrites or the Gentiles.” The hypocrites do so for a show. They want to be seen. The Gentiles do so to be heard. In times past, I have read this and, like many of us, cast off the hypocrites and Gentiles, but as I read this passage this time, I was moved that in reality, the hypocrites wanted to be seen while the Gentiles wanted to be heard. Their way of achieving this was not right, but their need was real. 

I know in the depths of my heart that is what I want. I want to be seen, heard, and understood. When this does not happen, I isolate myself or become hyper vigilant about getting people to see and listen to me. I become very self-focused and less focused on hearing and seeing others.

It is at this moment in the passage that Jesus makes a transition. He wants us to know that He sees and hears us. He knows us, and in prayer, he already knows what we need. He suggests that we go into our closet of prayer (bedroom, dining room table, couch, or other place we commit to prayer) and pray in secret, and God will hear and bless us in the open.

What a relief to know that I am seen and heard. God sees me. He hears me. And when I draw near to him in the solace of devotion and prayer, I witness the outward expressions of that in my life. I do not have to work it up and pray it through my wordiness or a display before others.

I found these beautiful words and will close with them. “The beauty of being both seen and heard lies not in grand gestures or public displays, but in quiet moments of connection. It can be found in a kind word that acknowledges someone’s effort, in eyes meeting across a room to share a mutual understanding, or in the simple act of holding space for someone to share their story. These are the sacred exchanges that remind us that we are not invisible, not forgotten.”

So, let me ask you?

·      Where do you strive to be seen or heard? Is it at home? Is it at work? Is it with your friends? Explain why?

·      What emotions do you exhibit when you don’t feel seen or heard?

·      How do you respond when you are not being seen or heard?

·      What biases or prejudices keep you from seeing and hearing others?

·      How can you improve your ability to see and hear others?

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May 7, 2025 · 5:07 pm

What Are the Narratives You Are Listening To?

Dr. Bob Odom

Growing up, I was amazed at the stories my grandmother would tell me. Most of these stories were old wives’ tales, but I believed them because my grandmother told me, and she would never lie (LOL).

I remember she would tell me not to swallow watermelon seeds because watermelons would grow in my stomach. She also said that if I looked at her cross-eyed, my eyes could get stuck, and I would be cross-eyed for the rest of my life. She also told me that if a snapping turtle were to bite me, it would hold on until there was a clap of thunder. As I got older, I realized that these stories were not true. How do I know? For one, I swallowed a watermelon seed and never grew a watermelon in my stomach.

These stories are funny, but as I have gotten older and grown spiritually, I have recognized other stories I have been told that were not true. These stories are more serious because they affected me emotionally and mentally. As these narratives were repeated, I began to believe them as truth. These narratives resulted from my life experiences and what had been spoken into my life.

I am amazed at how often we have narratives that speak to and guide our thoughts and perspectives. Our minds tell us stories that we begin to believe. For example, one narrative I have experienced is that I am not good enough. This narrative caused me to give up and not try. When things got difficult, it was easier for me to run than face failure. Even worse, I sometimes settled for less than the best because I believed I was not good enough and did not deserve it. I would often not even try things because I thought I was not good enough.

I also had a narrative playing in my head that I could not trust people. This narrative was a result of disappointments in relationships. My parents were divorced before I was born, and I was moved from house to house as a child. Throughout life, I have had people make promises they never kept. I felt I had been used to accomplish other people’s purposes, only to be dropped as soon as they attained their goals.

The result is that I believed I could not trust people. I could not believe their word and would go into relationships, waiting for rejection and broken promises. What made this hard was that I wanted to trust. I wanted to believe that this person would keep their word. The result was that it became hard to make long-term relationships. When I thought that I was being used (true or not), I would bail from the relationship, justifying that I deserved better.

I now understand that these lies prevented me from achieving the best in my life. I would fear failure and think I was not good enough. But that was a lie because I am a creation of God. I have a purpose, and God ordains that purpose.

These lies were happening even when I was leading some great organizations. I was doing good things, but inside, the battle of not feeling good enough or waiting for the next shoe to drop was very real. Even as I write this article, I am fighting the battle of what if it is not good enough. What if no one likes it? And better yet, what if people criticize it?  

To overcome this, I must rewrite the stories in my head. I must write a new narrative focusing on what can be and not what is not. We do this by identifying the negative narratives. One exercise is to pay attention to the thoughts that frequently run through your mind. What is the narrative being played out? Is it fear? Is it rejection? Is it self-criticalness? Is it feeling less than what you have been created to be? These are just a few negative narratives that can hold us back from our potential.

Understanding these narratives is critical because we can determine their validity once the negative narratives are identified. We can decide which presuppositions are based on truth and which are based on unhealthy assumptions. The question that needs to be answered is whether these narratives are building up or preventing us from living up to our potential.  

Once this is accomplished, we can rewrite the negative narratives and build on the positive ones. One exercise is to write a new narrative. I mean this literally. Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write what life would look like if this were not the narrative we were listening to. For example, when I feel that I am not good enough, I need to follow the narrative that I am created in God’s image and have been trained in healthy ways.

Remember, this process of rewriting narratives will not be perfected overnight. It takes time, so be patient with yourself. Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. When these negative narratives pop up unexpectedly, acknowledge them, but don’t let them dictate your actions. Because you have identified and know what they are, it will be easier to live by narratives based on truth and reality over time. You are not alone in this journey, and you have the power to change your narrative.

Finally, remember that you have the power to agree with Scripture. Ephesians 4:20-24 makes this proclamation of truth. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. By aligning with these positive beliefs, you can transform your narrative and live up to your full potential.

So, let me ask you.

  • What are the narratives playing in your mind?
  • How do these narratives affect you?
  • Evaluate the narratives in your life and determine why you believe the narrative. In other words, what drives the narrative in your mind?
  • How can you rewrite the narratives being played out right now so that they focus on Christ and a healthy outcome?

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April 4, 2025 · 12:49 pm

Jesus Has Not Come Yet!

Dr. Robert W. Odom

In the writings of Matthew, Mark, and John, there is an account of Jesus walking on water. In particular, John’s account has a statement that caught my attention. While facing darkness and a coming storm, the disciples said, “Jesus has not come yet.” The question that came to me was, “How many times has it felt like Jesus was not showing up when we needed Him?”

There have been numerous instances in my life when I felt the absence of Jesus. Not too long ago, I found myself in a season that seemed almost unbearable. Promises felt unfulfilled, and the weight of expectations was relentless. I felt overlooked, and my worth was not recognized. All this unfolded while I lacked the necessary physical and emotional support to accomplish the mandate I had been given.

I must admit that, even though I was a follower of Christ, I felt like Jesus was not yet present. I felt I needed answers. I needed support, but it was not happening. There was a storm in my life, and fear arose from the crashing waves of change. We knew we would make it to the other side, but it was still scary and fearful. At times, it felt as though Jesus was not present.

If you have lived for a long time, I am sure you have experienced those moments when you questioned where Jesus is. He has not shown up yet. He seems to be a long way away. Often, our prayers feel ineffective, and we become confused.

But what I’ve come to understand is that Jesus was always there, even when I couldn’t see Him. He revealed Himself at the perfect moment. It’s significant that this story is recounted in three of the Gospels. In Matthew’s version, Peter dares to walk on water to meet Jesus. Jesus invites Him, and Peter steps out of the boat, moving towards Jesus.

Well, that is, until he looked down and saw and felt the waves lapping at His feet. In an instant, he fell into the water. One moment, he is walking on water, and the next, he is bobbing up and down in the water. The amazing thing is that Jesus does not ignore this, but He reaches down and lifts Peter out of the water. I believe that Jesus and Peter walked back to the boat.   

So, what does this teach us? Even when we can’t see God, He is working within us and for us. The writer of Hebrews beautifully articulates this, ‘Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.’ We may not always perceive God amid our struggles, but we can be sure of His presence. He is working in us, paving the way. It’s worth noting that the Sea of Galilee, the setting for this event, was about eight miles wide. This means that Jesus had walked over 4 miles on the water, showing up long before the disciples saw Him in the storm.

Whatever storm you may face, remember that Jesus is with you. He will show up. Keep your focus on Him, not on the storm. The storm is real, and the waves are powerful, but Jesus has the power to calm the storm. In the process, we can learn some incredible lessons that can change our lives. So, how can we maintain our faith during the storm? We do so by keeping our eyes on Jesus, by remembering His promises, and by trusting that He is in control.

I love the quote by Martin Luther. It says, If I did not see that the Lord kept watch over the ship, I should long since have abandoned the helm. But I see Him! Through the storm, strengthening the tackle, handling the yards, spreading the sails – yes, more, commanding the very winds! Should I not be a coward if I abandoned my post? Let Him govern, let Him carry us forward, let Him hasten or delay; we will fear nothing!

So let me ask you:

  1. What storms are you currently facing?
  2. Where does it feel that Jesus needs to show up and has not yet? Be specific.
  3. Where have you seen Jesus show up before?
  4. What emotions do you experience during a storm?
  5. How many times have you stepped out in faith and focused on the storm more than Jesus?

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March 23, 2025 · 2:30 pm

How’s Your Vision?

Dr. Robert W. Odom

Several years ago, I finally broke down and went to the eye doctor to check my eyes. I had been struggling a bit with my vision. For example, as I approached a road sign, the signs needed to be right in front of me before I could read them. After a few weeks, I received the glasses and put them on. I could not believe the difference. Things looked crisp and clear; amazingly, I could read the signs down the road, before they were almost on top of me.

When we try to follow Christ and be obedient to His will and His ways, we, too, need to have the proper lens. Last week, a pastor friend said that Jesus should not be on our list of things to do or on the priority list of our lives. You know how it goes: Jesus first, then family, work, etc. He went on to say that Jesus should not be on a list. He should be the transformative lens through which we see everything. Replacing Him with other things is too easy if He is on a list. But if we see all things through the lens of Christ, we will be different and see things in much crisper and undiluted ways. This does not mean life will always be easy, but we will focus on the right things while feeling hopeful and inspired.

When we view everything through the lens of Christ, our actions and decisions in every aspect of life undergo a profound change. Our interactions with others become infused with more compassion and respect. Our work ethic and integrity are elevated. Our relationships with our family members become more loving and understanding. Even our financial dealings become more honest and fair. This transformation occurs because Jesus is not just a priority; He is everything. He is the only one who brings clarity to our lives.

This week, I learned that several organizations had to fire people because of integrity issues. What is more impressive is that those who were fired claimed to know Christ. We have heard of pastors and business leaders who have been fired for mishandling finances or the people they serve. On one side of the coin, they are great people, but in another way, they are not. Too often, it is because they do not view everything through the lens of Christ and Scripture.

Think of the person who abused another person. If they had looked through the lens of Jesus, they would have treated that person with love, respect, honor, and trust. But that does not happen when we fail to look through the lens of Christ. The lines become blurry, and compromise is easily realized.

So, what lens do you look through? Is it the lens of power, control, success, mistrust, or compromise? Is it the lens of pleasing others, fear, anxiety, or disappointment? Or do you look through the lens of Jesus, who guides and leads us in healthy ways? Remember, the choice of lens is yours. Choosing the right lens empowers you to see things clearer and from a godly perspective.

I will close with a passage that illustrates this best. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind! This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

So let me ask you,

  • What is the lens that you are looking through?
  • Do you prioritize Jesus, or is He the only lens you look through?
  • What corrections do you need to make?
  • How different would your life be if everything was viewed through the lens of Christ?  

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December 21, 2024 · 12:57 pm

Promises Given, Promises Broken

Robert Odom PhD

I love this season of celebration and the focus on the gift of Christ. In this Advent season, a little child reminds us of the love, hope, peace, and joy that is ours. These are not just empty promises but can be a present reality when we open our hearts and minds to receive them.

For some, when we talk about promises, we feel awkward sadness, or maybe there is distrust in any promise given. This comes because we are living with broken promises, rejection, and feelings of betrayal. For so many, this is a reality that must be lived out on a daily basis.

We can struggle in our lives when promises made become promises broken. People promise us that they will be there for us, but as soon as we need them, they are nowhere to be found. Your employer promises you a promotion, but it is never realized. You are promised that you will get a raise, and that never happens. A loved one says they will love you forever, but they leave you when things get rough. We can become frustrated when we do not see promises fulfilled.

While this is a truth we live with, there is also another reality that is true. While people let us down and make promises they will never keep, God, in His unwavering faithfulness, will fulfill His promises. The problem is that it is hard to believe someone we cannot see when those in our lives have let us down.

I recognize this dissonance and struggle to believe, so I ask that you try something. For one month would you ask God to bring life from the ashes of your life? Would you ask Him to fill you with the joy, peace, love, and hope promised in this season of miracles? Do this every day.

I share this not as some formula for success but as a way to focus our minds and hearts on what could be. As you pray, consider what joy would look like for you. What will peace look like for you? What will true love look like for you? What will hope look like for you? Invite God to reveal these to you. They are gifts, and as with any gift, we need to receive them.

As you do this, look more at what can be rather than what is. Again, this is not a formula but an opportunity to refocus on what can be. When Paul wrote his letter to the church at Philippi, he argued for a life filled with joy and peace.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8 ESV).

So let me ask you:

  • Where is your focus today? Is it on the broken promises, or the potential for what could be? Let’s shift our focus to the promises of God, the hope of a better future, and the joy that can be found in His love.
  • Which do you need the most? Is it joy, peace, love, or hope? Which one did you choose and why?
  • Are you willing for 30 days to focus on the gifts that God has given? What changes do you need to make to see this happen?
  • I encourage you to begin a gratitude journal. This will help you track your journey in these 30 days. In the journal, you can be honest and raw about your emotions and what you are feeling as you navigate this experience. It’s a tool to help you stay focused on the positive and the promises of God.

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December 14, 2024 · 12:22 pm

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Robert W. Odom PhD

In 1984, Tina Turner released a song titled “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” The song title proposes a great question. I want to look at the subject of love today. By the way, I think love has everything to do with it. That is God’s love.

Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. We use the word love for so many things. I love my wife, good food, Alabama football, driving through the country, and enjoying the scenery. I love many things, but my love for these things is not equal.

As we delve into scripture, we discover that God is love personified. The Bible unequivocally proclaims that God is love. He is the very embodiment of love. The Bible reveals that He loved us before we even knew Him. Even more astounding is that He loved us before the world was created. This revelation is nothing short of mind-blowing. How could He love me, with all my imperfections and shortcomings? And how could He love me before I even existed? I cannot fathom the depth of His love, but I am humbled by it.

In life, we love to have representations of love. For example, rings are exchanged at weddings to show one’s love and commitment to one’s partner. God showed His love by sending His son to represent God’s love here on earth. He showed us how to love our neighbors and those who did not deserve love by society’s standards.

He healed the demonic, the broken, and the blind. All of these had been rejected, isolated, and condemned by the religious leaders and by the community they lived. He forgave the woman caught in adultery, and yet he spoke into the hearts of her accusers so that they did not have any grounds to follow through with their plan of death (John 7:53-8:11).

The greatest of all gifts is that He chose to give His life for us so we could live fully and completely. John wrote in 1 John 3:16 (it is no coincidence that this parallels John 3:16) that we know true love by the gift of God on the cross. Jesus did not talk a big game; He lived out and put into action His love. That is why John challenges us to love not just in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).

I recently had a conversation with a Catholic priest who has become a friend to me. One of the thoughts that surfaced from our discussion was that we often say we are believers in Christ but treat people in awful ways. This is most often exhibited through hate, bitterness, and anger.  We can live in a space of division and pride rather than a place of humility and love. We can divide people according to our preconceived list of sins and who we believe deserves to be in.

But that is not how God sees love. The truth is that we are to love others. Jesus was once asked which of the commandments was the most important. Jesus, as only Jesus could, answered wisely. He stated that the prophets and the law can be summed up in two commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40).

This scripture is profound in its simplicity. It instructs us to love God with all our hearts and souls. If we can love God wholeheartedly, we can extend that love to our neighbors. But to truly love our neighbors, we must first love ourselves. Often, we attempt to love God and ourselves while carrying the burden of brokenness, hurt, and pain. Only when we seek healing from our pain and properly understand ourselves as God’s creation can we love fully.

The question that was posed in Jesus’ time remains relevant today: Who is my neighbor? The answer is beautifully simple. Every person we encounter is our neighbor. It’s the grumpy neighbor next door, the challenging coworker, the seemingly inattentive grocery store clerk, and even the distracted driver next to us. Love transcends all boundaries and includes everyone.   

So let me ask you?

  • Who is your neighbor? Be specific.
  • When we say God is love and that Jesus represents that love, how do you react to that understanding?
  • Where do you struggle to show love? Who are the people in your life that you find hard to love?
  • What steps can you take to love them and others?
  • Do you love yourself? That is, do you see yourself being loved by God? If not, name specific areas in your life that might be a struggle. Commit that to prayer and ask God to help you.
  • Mediate on 1 John and prayerfully consider the power of love exhibited in this text.

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Robert W. Odom PhD

In 1984, Tina Turner released a song titled “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” The song title proposes a great question. I want to look at the subject of love today. By the way, I think love has everything to do with it. That is God’s love.

Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today. We use the word love for so many things. I love my wife, good food, Alabama football, driving through the country, and enjoying the scenery. I love many things, but my love for these things is not equal.

As we delve into scripture, we discover that God is love personified. The Bible unequivocally proclaims that God is love. He is the very embodiment of love. The Bible reveals that He loved us before we even knew Him. Even more astounding is that He loved us before the world was created. This revelation is nothing short of mind-blowing. How could He love me, with all my imperfections and shortcomings? And how could He love me before I even existed? I cannot fathom the depth of His love, but I am humbled by it.

In life, we love to have representations of love. For example, rings are exchanged at weddings to show one’s love and commitment to one’s partner. God showed His love by sending His son to represent God’s love here on earth. He showed us how to love our neighbors and those who did not deserve love by society’s standards.

He healed the demonic, the broken, and the blind. All of these had been rejected, isolated, and condemned by the religious leaders and by the community they lived. He forgave the woman caught in adultery, and yet he spoke into the hearts of her accusers so that they did not have any grounds to follow through with their plan of death (John 7:53-8:11).

The greatest of all gifts is that He chose to give His life for us so we could live fully and completely. John wrote in 1 John 3:16 (it is no coincidence that this parallels John 3:16) that we know true love by the gift of God on the cross. Jesus did not talk a big game; He lived out and put into action His love. That is why John challenges us to love not just in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).

I recently had a conversation with a Catholic priest who has become a friend to me. One of the thoughts that surfaced from our discussion was that we often say we are believers in Christ but treat people in awful ways. This is most often exhibited through hate, bitterness, and anger.  We can live in a space of division and pride rather than a place of humility and love. We can divide people according to our preconceived list of sins and who we believe deserves to be in.

But that is not how God sees love. The truth is that we are to love others. Jesus was once asked which of the commandments was the most important. Jesus, as only Jesus could, answered wisely. He stated that the prophets and the law can be summed up in two commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40).

This scripture is profound in its simplicity. It instructs us to love God with all our hearts and souls. If we can love God wholeheartedly, we can extend that love to our neighbors. But to truly love our neighbors, we must first love ourselves. Often, we attempt to love God and ourselves while carrying the burden of brokenness, hurt, and pain. Only when we seek healing from our pain and properly understand ourselves as God’s creation can we love fully.

The question that was posed in Jesus’ time remains relevant today: Who is my neighbor? The answer is beautifully simple. Every person we encounter is our neighbor. It’s the grumpy neighbor next door, the challenging coworker, the seemingly inattentive grocery store clerk, and even the distracted driver next to us. Love transcends all boundaries and includes everyone.   

So let me ask you?

  • Who is your neighbor? Be specific.
  • When we say God is love and that Jesus represents that love, how do you react to that understanding?
  • Where do you struggle to show love? Who are the people in your life that you find hard to love?
  • What steps can you take to love them and others?
  • Do you love yourself? That is, do you see yourself being loved by God? If not, name specific areas in your life that might be a struggle. Commit that to prayer and ask God to help you.
  • Mediate on 1 John and prayerfully consider the power of love exhibited in this text.

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