Tag Archives: writing

Dr. Bob Odom

Growing up, I was amazed at the stories my grandmother would tell me. Most of these stories were old wives’ tales, but I believed them because my grandmother told me, and she would never lie (LOL).

I remember she would tell me not to swallow watermelon seeds because watermelons would grow in my stomach. She also said that if I looked at her cross-eyed, my eyes could get stuck, and I would be cross-eyed for the rest of my life. She also told me that if a snapping turtle were to bite me, it would hold on until there was a clap of thunder. As I got older, I realized that these stories were not true. How do I know? For one, I swallowed a watermelon seed and never grew a watermelon in my stomach.

These stories are funny, but as I have gotten older and grown spiritually, I have recognized other stories I have been told that were not true. These stories are more serious because they affected me emotionally and mentally. As these narratives were repeated, I began to believe them as truth. These narratives resulted from my life experiences and what had been spoken into my life.

I am amazed at how often we have narratives that speak to and guide our thoughts and perspectives. Our minds tell us stories that we begin to believe. For example, one narrative I have experienced is that I am not good enough. This narrative caused me to give up and not try. When things got difficult, it was easier for me to run than face failure. Even worse, I sometimes settled for less than the best because I believed I was not good enough and did not deserve it. I would often not even try things because I thought I was not good enough.

I also had a narrative playing in my head that I could not trust people. This narrative was a result of disappointments in relationships. My parents were divorced before I was born, and I was moved from house to house as a child. Throughout life, I have had people make promises they never kept. I felt I had been used to accomplish other people’s purposes, only to be dropped as soon as they attained their goals.

The result is that I believed I could not trust people. I could not believe their word and would go into relationships, waiting for rejection and broken promises. What made this hard was that I wanted to trust. I wanted to believe that this person would keep their word. The result was that it became hard to make long-term relationships. When I thought that I was being used (true or not), I would bail from the relationship, justifying that I deserved better.

I now understand that these lies prevented me from achieving the best in my life. I would fear failure and think I was not good enough. But that was a lie because I am a creation of God. I have a purpose, and God ordains that purpose.

These lies were happening even when I was leading some great organizations. I was doing good things, but inside, the battle of not feeling good enough or waiting for the next shoe to drop was very real. Even as I write this article, I am fighting the battle of what if it is not good enough. What if no one likes it? And better yet, what if people criticize it?  

To overcome this, I must rewrite the stories in my head. I must write a new narrative focusing on what can be and not what is not. We do this by identifying the negative narratives. One exercise is to pay attention to the thoughts that frequently run through your mind. What is the narrative being played out? Is it fear? Is it rejection? Is it self-criticalness? Is it feeling less than what you have been created to be? These are just a few negative narratives that can hold us back from our potential.

Understanding these narratives is critical because we can determine their validity once the negative narratives are identified. We can decide which presuppositions are based on truth and which are based on unhealthy assumptions. The question that needs to be answered is whether these narratives are building up or preventing us from living up to our potential.  

Once this is accomplished, we can rewrite the negative narratives and build on the positive ones. One exercise is to write a new narrative. I mean this literally. Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write what life would look like if this were not the narrative we were listening to. For example, when I feel that I am not good enough, I need to follow the narrative that I am created in God’s image and have been trained in healthy ways.

Remember, this process of rewriting narratives will not be perfected overnight. It takes time, so be patient with yourself. Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. When these negative narratives pop up unexpectedly, acknowledge them, but don’t let them dictate your actions. Because you have identified and know what they are, it will be easier to live by narratives based on truth and reality over time. You are not alone in this journey, and you have the power to change your narrative.

Finally, remember that you have the power to agree with Scripture. Ephesians 4:20-24 makes this proclamation of truth. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. By aligning with these positive beliefs, you can transform your narrative and live up to your full potential.

So, let me ask you.

• What are the narratives playing in your mind?
• How do these narratives affect you?
• Evaluate the narratives in your life and determine why you believe the narrative. In other words, what drives the narrative in your mind?
• How can you rewrite the narratives being played out right now so that they focus on Christ and a healthy outcome?