Category Archives: Uncategorized

July 21, 2022 · 12:44 pm

The Lost Art of Conversation

As I look over the landscape of life, one of the issues I am seeing is that we have lost the power of conversation and exploring others’ ideas. Too often, communication is relegated to demanding acceptance and a loud tone of argumentation. What is lost is the art of listening to others. What is lost is the ability to understand what the other person is communicating and why.

I wonder how different things would be in our world if we listened more and talked less. I wonder how different things would be if we communicated to understand others rather than trying to force people to believe what we believe. I wonder how different things would be if we talked not to persuade but to learn more about the other person.

Now I realize that there are moments when we need to speak for influence but too much of communication today is to persuade someone to agree with us at all costs. And, when they disagree, we turn to angry and defiant forms of communication, or we use the power of the silent treatment. And worse, we communicate about the other person with other people. We gossip and tear down the other person without ever communicating with them. We assume we know them and judge their thoughts and motives.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that did all the talking? Have you been with someone who did not seem interested in what you had to say? Have you ever ended a conversation where you did not know what had been communicated because it seemed highly one-sided? Have you had conversations where the other person’s primary focus was to persuade you or convince you to agree with them? Too often, I wonder if people are trying to persuade me to believe their point of view rather than have a conversation. Or worse, they are not interested in what I have to say or believe.

There are so many issues today where this is applicable. As I look at the problems around us today, there are many places where the art of listening is critical. These include but are not limited to abortion, racism, religion, politics, climate change, or gay rights. What would happen if we could have a dialogue that is not accusatory, angry, or trying to persuade others to join “our side.” What if we asked questions to explore what the other person believes and why? What if we asked follow-up questions to find out more?

I have been amazed at what I have learned by listening to people and hearing their hearts. The fact is that I have often found that we have more to agree on than I imagined. I have learned that we are saying the same thing in many cases but in very different ways. Even when we are communicating different things, when we listen to others, we can learn from them. Why do they believe what they believe? Why do they hold onto that viewpoint?

I admit that it is often hard to listen. I want to interject my ideas and thoughts. I want to prove my position. I want others to get in line and follow my ideology. I can become impatient in the process. But it doesn’t work that way. We must listen to gain perspective.

During my years as a chaplain, I attempted to listen to those I was called to serve. It was always fun for me and a challenge to have them open up and talk. I am referring specifically to the paramedics and firefighters I helped. I laughed the first few times I would do a ride-along. Most often, before people got to know me, I was not well received, or I was received with an extended hand that spoke that I was to keep my distance. They had previous experiences that had soured their view of the chaplaincy. Some of the earlier chaplains did more preaching than listening. They would carry big Bibles and quote obscure or often misquoted scriptures.

However, their responses did not deter me but challenged me to communicate in a way that would get them to share about themselves. It did not take long for the paramedics and fire department if I asked a few key questions. I would start with “How long have you been doing this?” I would follow up with “What made you desire to become a paramedic?” And then, “What was the most memorable call you have ever been on?” This was usually followed by “What was the worse call you ever had?”

I was amazed that these simple and sincere questions opened doors for further communication. When asking these questions, I fought the battle to cut them off and resolve problems. Because I volunteered for a local fire department, they often asked me questions. It was interesting what questions I would be asked. Most often, I think it was to get a reaction. But I would share my thoughts but the conversation back to them and ask, “what is your opinion or thoughts on this?” My goal was to keep my answers short and turn the discussion back to them as soon as possible.

Some of the other paramedics who knew me well were surprised when some would stay after their shift to talk about issues in their life. It was in these discussions that I could share my views and give counsel. The biggest reason for this was that I was willing to listen.

Listening is not easy, but it is worth it. One of the biggest things I found in studying the issue of trauma is people need an outlet to talk. They do not need their problem solved. They need to talk. They do not need us to use language that deters healing and brings a deeper wound.

What would happen if we listened to the young mom who finds herself pregnant? What if we talked and listened rather than judged or brought accusations against her? What about people who may be different than us? They may differ by race, gender, sexual preference, political party, or religious persuasion. What could we learn from them? What could we learn about ourselves?

James, a pastor in the early church, had this to say, and it bears mentioning. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

As I close, I challenge you to find someone different in viewpoints and ideologies. Connect with them and listen. Ask open-ended questions that require more than one-word answers. This may take more than one meeting as the other person may need to feel secure in talking and not being judged or persuaded to believe another way. Try it. You might like it. And, in the process, you may find out some things about others that will amaze you. And who knows, you might find out something about yourself.

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June 30, 2022 · 8:28 am

Giving Grace and Receiving Grace: The Pro-Life/Pro-Abortion Issue

Robert W. Odom Ph. D.

I have been dealing with the subject of trauma over the last several weeks. Today, I will continue to do that but from a different perspective. This past week the Supreme Court made a landmark decision by overturning the Roe vs. Wade decision. For some, this decision has rocked their world. For others, this has been a moment of ecstatic celebration. I am pro-life and stand against all injustice, but I have concerns about the reactions to the decision. I am worried about the unintended consequences that often come from such choices.

As I write this, I cannot help but think of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11). The spiritual leaders wanted to stone her and were authorized to do so according to their laws. But Jesus came to establish a new way of living. It was the way of grace, love, justice, and forgiveness. It is noteworthy that when Jesus arrived on the scene, He came alongside the woman, not the spiritual leaders. There is no denial of her sin by Jesus. There is, however, a judgment of the spiritual leaders who took the wrong view of justice and the law.

In this discussion, Jesus did something unique and so out of context. He heard them speak against the woman. They were very vocal in acknowledging her sin. After listening to their concerns, He knelt and wrote in the sand. I believe He began to list their sins that were also punishable by stoning. He did not make a big deal about it, but He made His point without a word. As He arose, He made a remarkable statement. If there is no sin in your life, be the first to throw your stones at her. Slowly one by one, they all left the area as they stood guilty of sin themselves.

When they left, He spoke to the woman. “Where are your accusers? I do not condemn you, go and sin no more.” He did not guilt her. He did not condemn her. He did not judge her. He released her. But He also commanded her not to sin anymore. He counseled her to find a different path in her life. He, in essence, was urging her to take another course. We do not know what led her to this moment in time, but the laws were against women in that culture. If she was single or widowed, she had little support. The culture would have rejected her.

My point in sharing this story is that while we might be pro-life, are we pro-woman. How do we support the women who find themselves pregnant? As a church or pro-life community, are we providing the necessary funds to help women find jobs, healthcare, and support during and after pregnancy? Or do we ostracize these women as the spiritual leaders of Jesus’ day did? Do these women have to fend for themselves? Do we condemn and judge those who find themselves pregnant?

I ask this. While legislators are making laws to abolish abortion, are they increasing support for adoptions, care for the mom, and other critical support for these women? In my opinion, we cannot have one without the other. Yes, I support the unborn, but I also support the women who find themselves pregnant. They do not need to be stoned but need a community of passionate followers of Christ who will help, love, and care for them.

I have also heard the argument that helping these women frees them to go and do the same thing again. That may or may not be accurate, but that is not a reason to not support them. We must reach them and support their decisions in keeping their child or giving the child to an adoptive family. I question where we would be if we did not have people who helped us along the way. No matter how successful we might be, we have had people in our life that helped us and opened doors for us.

When discussing forgiveness, Jesus was asked about this crucial aspect of the Christian life (Matthew 18:21-22). How many times do we forgive? Peter, the first to answer, gave the acceptable religious answer. He stated that we should forgive seven times. That was the legal, religious standard of the day. Jesus, who came to turn the culture and religious community upside down, stated, no, we must forgive seven times seventy. This meant an infinite number of times.

Once again, we must interpret scripture in the context of scripture. After making this statement, Jesus shares a story about a rich man with extensive debt (Matthew 18:23-35). In some ways, He exaggerates the terms to get the disciple’s attention.

A king wished to settle outstanding loans and debts owed to him. One who owed him a considerable amount of money pleaded for mercy. The king had compassion and forgave the loan. Rather than living in the forgiveness he had experienced, the servant found one who owed him money. The total amount he was owed was far less than what he owed the king. But rather than forgive, he took the man by the neck and threw him into jail. The king heard of the insensitivity of the servant and demanded that he pay his debt.

Jesus began this discussion by saying that we must forgive as the heavenly father has forgiven us. Let’s return to our discussion on helping those who find themselves pregnant. We must be reminded how much we have been forgiven. The problem with Christians is that we often forget what God has done for us. He has forgiven all our sins. But too often, what we have received, we struggle to give.

We expect people to live to a standard that, at one time, we struggled to live ourselves. We want forgiveness without giving forgiveness. We hold people to a higher standard than we hold ourselves. It is also a condition of our heart where we tend to categorize our sins into lists of acceptable and unacceptable sins. We judge a pregnant single mom but allow gossip and pride to reign. We judge one living a lifestyle we disagree with, but we are filled with lust and treat others with disrespect. In God’s eyes, there are no good or bad transgressions; a transgression is a transgression.

We are all on a journey, and perhaps a part of that journey is for us to enter a discussion with those we might disagree with. Maybe we should talk with (not to) those experiencing an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. Perhaps we would be better off listening to them. This is not a time to lecture them or throw scripture at them. We might learn much about them if we would listen. Perhaps together, we can find a path to help each other. We can help them provide for their care and their child’s care. They can help us understand their needs and goals in life.

Perhaps a part of our journey is to enter the world of those who support abortion to have a dialogue. I am not talking about the fury evident in some circles now (on both sides of the issue). Jesus did that. Paul did that. They engaged people where they were. They met people at the town center (the well), the city gate, the worship centers of the pagans, and so much more.

When we consider this, how many on the pro-life side have sat with anyone on the pro-abortion side and vice versa? How many have listened to one another to understand their position and why they believe what they believe? I am not saying we should compromise our position, but we must be open to one another’s opinions and ideas.

By following Christ’s example, we can make a difference. We can minister grace and love to those most vulnerable and who most need our love. Yes, we might be pro-life, but we must consider the mother’s life and how we can help them through these dark moments in their lives. Be Christ to someone today.

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Tagged as abortion, Communication, forgiveness, Grace, Pregnancy, Pro-abortion, Pro-life, Pro-woman

June 5, 2022 · 9:22 am

Toxic Members: Pastoral Trauma

I have been dealing with toxic leadership and spiritual trauma for the last couple of weeks. Today, I want to pivot and look at toxic people within organizations. After being on staff at four-plus churches[i], I have witnessed the ability of people to affect environments through the way they handle themselves, the way they act, and what they say. Just as much as there is toxic leadership, there are also those who are a part of the church that are toxic.

As I noted in our discussion of spiritual trauma, there are great people out there. Most people wanted to be spiritually connected. They have a desire to be passionate followers of Christ. They love God and desire more than anything to grow in Christ and understand their role in the church. Others have honest questions and need real answers. People need to be able to ask questions without fear of retaliation, being ignored, or being made to feel inferior. Indeed, people do not need to be ostracized or rejected for a difference in thinking. Some broken people are looking for a place to feel safe, where their questions can be answered, and guidance is given in healthy ways.

While this is true, unfortunately, some are people toxic. They tend to be consumers. They tend to be very vocal about their opinions of the church and pastoral staff, but too often, they sit back and do not get involved. They want the church to serve them. They believe the church is all about them and their needs. And then some want to control. They want to control the vision, the message, and the staff. They may say they have the church’s best interest in mind, but they are self-focused and self-centered. Unfortunately, this is often done behind the scenes and in the dark.

In my years of ministry, I have had people tell me they have been called to the church to help the church grow and “support” the vision of the leadership team. While this is not always the case, this language is often a code for “I have an agenda, but I will not be honest and tell you what that agenda might be.” I have witnessed those who present something they would like to do. These are often good suggestions, but there are times when these ideas do not fit the vision or DNA of the church. When they do not get their way, they bring discord to the body. They proclaim they are victims, and the leadership does not listen to people. They become a source of division and destruction. They assert themselves as a prophet or as being superior to the leadership. This is motivated by pride and selfishness. Behind the scenes, they manipulate people, try to get people on their side, and turn people against the leadership.

Still, others would attempt to sway the direction of the church through their finances. If they do not agree with something, they hold back their finances until the outcome they want occurs. When they give, they make sure everyone knows they support the church, how much they support, and how important they are. They are looking for approval and accessibility to the leadership. They are hungry for power. But, their desires are distorted and unhealthy.

On one occasion, a member of one church gave a check for several hundred thousand dollars for missions. The problem, however, is that he began to dictate where the money should go and how the funds should be used rather than depend on the wisdom of the leadership team to distribute the funds as necessary and where it was most needed. He threatened to withdraw his support if the monies were not used according to his wishes.

While there are toxic individuals, most want to do the right thing. So what do we do to be healthy participants in the church environment? First, let me say this. Perhaps you should consider another church if you do not trust your pastor or leadership team to lead. If you are not able to bring change, sometimes the best thing to do is change churches.

Second, how do you deal with these differences? Do you speak to the pastor and leadership team, or do you talk to others? I am not sure you know this, but talking to anyone other than the one who can resolve the issue might be considered gossip. We will not ever fully agree with everything the pastor or leadership does. But are we willing to talk about the differences? We should be able to have healthy conversations. Speak and communicate with the staff about what is going on in your life, what you disagree with, and why you disagree. This should be accomplished with grace, wisdom, and a desire for healing and growth.

It is also inappropriate to look for people who will agree with your disagreement. One of my pet peeves is when people come to me and say, “There are a lot of people who_____” and fill in the blank. Many people do not like the music that is played. Many people think the messages are too long or too short. And on and on. Too often, the truth is that there may be a couple of people who agree with them, but it is usually not as many as they say or believe. It is also unfortunate that, at the same time, they do not reveal who these people are as they want to keep it a secret. This is a form of power as they have some information they believe they can use to manipulate the staff. It also incorrectly positions them with leverage, or at least they think so.

One area that seems always to be a concern in the church is the music. I have dealt with the music issue. The music is too loud, not loud enough, no hymns, too many hymns, and not the proper hymns. The music is too fast, or it is too slow. The pastor wears a suit and a tie, so they are stuffy. The pastor wears a sports shirt and sneakers. They are too liberal. The pastor’s kids should be at the church all of the time and be perfect in their dress, actions, and music. The spouse is not involved enough. They are too involved and are controlling. It can go on and on.

Third, do not couch gossip in spiritual terms! Before you speak, ask a question first? Is your prayer request a prayer request, or is it an opportunity to gossip under the guise of spirituality? Too often, we can cloak our sinful behavior in terms of spirituality. If you are willing to speak to others without talking to the who needs to hear the message, you need to consider if the message needs to be shared with anyone else.

Fourth, be patient with your pastor and leadership. They are humans. They have struggles. They get tired. They are busy! They need to rest! They are not perfect. Yes, I said it pastors are not perfect. Please give them the same grace you want them to give to you.

Fifth, step up to the plate and get involved in the church! Do not be on the sidelines. Volunteer and serve. Make the church better by getting involved. Serve where you are needed. You will not regret it, and you will reap the benefits of being a part of a church community in the long run.

Finally, support your pastor and leaders. Many pastors deal with depression and anxiety. They want to serve well but feel they are ineffective. New statistics show that 10% of all pastors leave the ministry a month. According to the Barna Research Group, 42% seriously considered leaving the ministry last year. The two top reasons for this were the immense stress of the job (56%) and the feeling of loneliness and isolation (43%)[ii]. Many would have left the ministry altogether if they had had another occupation. That is sad as this ought to be one of the most joyous jobs on the planet.

How can we support the leadership team? Pray for your pastor. Take your pastor out to lunch with no agenda but just to be a blessing. Write them a word of encouragement. Have them and their families at your home for dinner. Give them a gift certificate to do something fun. Do this without any strings attached. There are so many things you can do to bless and encourage them. So just do it! Bless them, support them, and pray for them. Once again, in so doing, you will be blessed, and you will be an encourager to those who need encouragement.

[i] Interim English Speaking Pastor, Ridgewood Church of God, Ridgewood, Brooklyn (1979 – 1980); Youth Pastor, Commack Church of God, Commack, NY (1980 – 1981); Volunteer Youth Leader, Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle, Smithtown, NY (1982-1985); Lead Pastor, New Covenant Christian Church (1985-1993); Lead Pastor, Full Gospel Christian Church, Copiague, NY (1993-2003); Missions and Ministry Pastor, Radford Baptist Church, Moneta, VA (1993-2010); and Peninsula Community Church, Selbyville, DE (2010 – 2019).

[ii] Pastors Share Top Reasons They’ve Considered Quitting Ministry in the Past Year, 2022, Barna Research, April 27, 2022, Accessed June 4, 2022. Pastors Share Top Reasons They’ve Considered Quitting Ministry in the Past Year – Barna Group.

Toxic Members: Pastoral Trauma

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Tagged as Gossip, Pastors depression, Toxic Members

May 26, 2022 · 7:25 am

Forgiveness and Spiritual Abuse

Forgiveness, there is so much wrapped up in that one little word. It is not easy to do, but it is essential! It is hard because the need to forgive is often necessitated by a wound, a hurt, or a traumatic event. These wounds and hurts make it hard to take steps toward forgiveness.

Like many, I have had to navigate the need for forgiveness in my life. My life would be radically different without forgiving those who have hurt me. I have faced rejection, abuse, false accusations, and pressure from some for not doing enough or not being enough. While I have forgiven these acts, I am by no means a poster child for forgiveness, as there are still things I am working through. Some hurts run deep and tend to raise their head at times!

One area of forgiveness I want to touch on today is spiritual abuse and trauma. Spiritual abuse and trauma can be complex to overcome. The spiritual damage done can be more complicated because there is often a connection between our understanding of God, the Church, and leadership. Leaders stand in a position to be “God’s spokesperson.” These leaders establish rules and doctrinal positions. Leaders are supposed to do this, but these rules are often used to control others and empower leaders in unhealthy ways.

I have read or listened to many stories from those wounded and hurt by spiritual leaders. They have faced spiritual trauma, which resulted in a crisis of faith. Before I am excoriated, I know there are always two sides to every story. I know that some claim to be hurt and wounded by the Church. Often the cause is an unwillingness to address issues in their life. While this is true, I want to address spiritual abuse as it is a genuine phenomenon and experience. We will address the other aspects of spiritual trauma next time.

I have been listening to a podcast about Mars Hill and the rise and fall of the ministry. Mark Driscoll was accused of spiritual abuse, arrogance, and control. Based on the podcast, these accusations were researched, and many were found to be true. It lead to him resigning as the pastor and the church disbanding and reorganizing. In addition, the Southern Baptist Convention has faced allegations that they did not effectively deal with allegations of abuse within their denomination. The investigation was just completed and has affirmed that many in leadership failed to acknowledge and address moral failures. Instead, they attempted to cover these abuses rather than deal with them appropriately.

As I noted in an earlier post, there are many good churches, and there are great leaders who have the heart of God. The purpose of this writing is not to paint with a broad brush but to address the issue of abuse that can occur in churches and other organizations. The goal is to help people experiencing spiritual trauma come to a place of healing and restoration.

One of the quotes from the podcasts stood out to me. The moderator stated, “Too often, the one causing the abuse is often the one who brings the cure.” This statement was interesting to me. The idea communicated in this quote is that those committing the abuse are often the ones trying to resolve the issues. This statement relates to family, Church, and organizational leadership. But unfortunately, when the one who caused the problems tries to fix the issues, their rhetoric and actions can bring more hurt.

To succeed, they begin to quell any opposition. These leaders will write a narrative that makes them the hero. The narrative will make them the victim, and they will be the one who has been hurt in the process. They will draw on sympathy by communicating the long hours they spend resolving the issues, and how discouraged they are by the events. They shift blame to others and do not attempt to take any responsibility for their actions or their part in the problem. They will try to shore up their support through verbal and financial means. They will make promises they do not necessarily intend to keep.

Too often, the real issues are not dealt with but are glossed over and swept under the carpet. As a result, the trauma persists, and many causalities are left in the wake. For that reason, many leave the Church. They experience a crisis of faith and struggle following Christ. They are wounded and hurt and can reject the Church.

When the above happens too often, people leave the Church, and some give up on Christianity altogether. We have heard of some famous Christians who have stated they are deconstructing their faith. I think of Joshua Harris (the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye) and others. They do this not because the gospel is not true but because men have failed to live out the gospel. Unfortunately, they have been swept up in traumatic events and times of controversy where those in power try to take more control rather than live in the gospel’s truth. As a result, they begin to question their faith and the purpose of the Church.

So what do we do? First, we must walk in forgiveness. As I have said, this is hard, but it is necessary. I have been reading a book called “David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, And the Art of Battling Giants.” In the book, Malcolm Gladwell relates a story about two different people. Both relate to having their children killed by people with difficult pasts. One could not forgive. Their unforgiveness negatively impacted many others. They hurt others because they had not been healed. The other person in the story forgave even though it was challenging. Because they were able to forgive and heal, they are helping others who struggle with problematic pasts and traumatic events. This new life would not be possible without the ability to forgive.

Second, a part of the forgiveness process is to realize that while men have failed, this does not mean that God has failed us. As I noted, this can be very hard because, too often, we see God through our power sources. When these power sources fail us, we feel God has failed us. As a result, people become confused and troubled by the actions of the leaders. But, God has not failed. Men have. He wants to heal and restore you.

Third, it is okay to be angry. When we are hurt, we will experience emotions, and recognizing these emotions is a critical part of the process. Truth begins with understanding our feelings. When we do this, we can pray for God to help us. We can pray for God to position us to forgive. By being honest about our emotions, we can process these emotions. By processing our emotions, we do not allow them to be buried. Burying them will only cause the emotions to come out later and impact us emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Fourth, remember forgiveness is for you. The person who needs your forgiveness may never accept nor recognize their need for forgiveness. When it comes to spiritual abuse and spiritual trauma, the other person most often does not always accept responsibility for their actions. Instead, they shift blame and try to change the narrative to make themselves the victim. Therefore we forgive because it is the right thing. We forgive because God calls us to do so. We forgive because it brings healing to our souls. And, healing our soul brings healing physically and spiritually.

Fifth, I suggest you write a letter! Then wait, wait, and pray. Then decide if you will send it to the person. By the way, I have written many letters that have never been mailed. Writing a letter allows you to express your feelings and pain without judgment or being criticized. Writing may also be in the form of a journal that documents what you are experiencing and the actions you are taking,

Finally, while men might do wrong and lead in unhealthy ways, the Church, big ‘C,’ will live on. The Church cannot and will not be destroyed by the actions of individuals. So do not give up on the Church. While you may need time to heal, God will lead you to the right church. It will be a healthy church. Allow God to heal you, and you will be amazed at where He will lead and what He will do.

My prayer for you is if you feel you have someone you need to forgive, go for it. Don’t worry about if the other person receives it. You may never speak to the person who needs forgiveness because forgiveness is for you, not them.

Forgiveness is hard, but it is possible. Of course, it takes time, as many of the wounds are deep. But, in the end, you will feel better. We will continue our discussion next time. See you next week.

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May 12, 2022 · 9:27 am

Spiritual and Emotional Implications of Trauma Part 2

Last week we discussed trauma and the church’s inability to address trauma in healthy ways. This truth does not mean that all churches are bad. On the contrary, many healthy churches and leaders do the right thing. These churches handle trauma in healthy ways. However, for many churches, it means there is a need for more education and training to understand trauma and the process of healing. In addition, it means dealing with toxic pastors and leaders who rule by fear and control for some churches.

While the church is not always prepared to handle trauma, the Bible is replete with traumatic events! Joseph was sold into slavery, falsely accused, forgotten, and had broken promises. David’s sons died. One died as a newborn. The second died from a freaky event (2 Samuel 18). Who can forget the difficulties that Job faced? He lost everything. Dinah and Tamar were raped. Naomi’s husband and sons died in a foreign land. She lost her home, husband, and sons in this strange land. These folks faced traumatic events, and you will, too, at some point. The question is not when but how we will respond to trauma.

When traumatic events happen, several issues must be considered. These would include but are not limited to forgiveness, guilt, shame, fear, and anger. It is critical to point out that we must not negate the emotions one is feeling. When people are facing trauma, there are things we should not say. For example, we should not say, “you should not feel that way.” “You should not be angry, sad, mad, or anxious.” We cannot tell someone what to feel. They feel what they feel.

Doing this can traumatize a person even more because they are dealing with those emotions. Instead of rejecting these emotions and making people feel confused about their emotions, we need to know they are real. I would suggest this is an excellent place to get people to talk about their emotions and how these emotions make them feel. How we respond to people’s emotions can bring healing, or it can drive them deeper into their pain.

Today, we will focus on one element of this process: forgiveness. Because one can experience anger at the person(s) who caused the trauma, forgiveness is a critical issue that must be addressed. Please know that forgiveness is a process, and the person experiencing the trauma may not be ready to forgive. Forgiveness may take time. Sometimes, one’s anger is misplaced, but there is anger! Sometimes the anger is justified in an abusive situation. Their anger could result from a death of a loved one due to another’s actions. Finally, anger can be levied on the person who caused the trauma.

For example, individuals may harbor rage and the desire for revenge against the drunk driver who collided with a minivan and killed an innocent family member. They might be angry at their friend and coworker who committed suicide. They might be angry because things feel out of control. They may blame themselves for not doing more. They may be filled with regrets for waiting too long to take someone to the hospital.

For others, they may be expressing the emotion of shame or guilt. While these are similar, they are different. Guilt is about what we did, and shame is about who we are. We feel guilty about an action we took. We wish we could have done something different!

Conversely shame hits who we are. We did this because there is a flaw in us. Shame comes because we believe we are not good.

Whatever the scenario, anger, guilt, and shame are real. The struggle to forgive others and themselves is just as real. However, to heal, one must let go of the offense and depression through forgiveness, or it will “dominate and contaminate one’s inner emotional life” (Weaver 2003, 44). While we cannot force forgiveness, we can encourage people to move toward forgiving those who have hurt them.

Forgiveness is one of the critical components to discovering meaning and purpose when suffering because of traumatic events. The goal is to heal the heart and mind from the hurt, anger, and hatred associated with the trauma. For that reason, forgiveness is essential to help process trauma.

Forgiveness is a critical healing function, as forgiveness leads to restoration and peace. It leads to a reduction in stress, anxiety, and lowered blood pressure. Through forgiveness, the power of shame, guilt, anxiety, and resentment to control the individual is diminished. The opposite occurs as well. If one does not forgive, relationships will be impacted, and stress levels will be increased. Individuals will focus so much on the past that they struggle to move into a brighter future. It must be noted here that forgiveness does not excuse the other person’s actions but allows the healing process to proceed.

Bonura, a military chaplain and author suggests three steps to forgiveness. First, the individual must recognize the value of forgiveness. Sometimes, when individuals face traumatic events, they can struggle to forgive the person who has committed the action against them But forgive, they must!

Second, the person needing to forgive must consider life without forgiveness and how a lack of forgiveness affects their lives. When dealing with trauma issues, one must consider the need for forgiveness and how walking in forgiveness will bring healing. Forgiving the one who has hurt us is not easy. It can be hard to realize how forgiveness will bring change. Third, the person must be led to forgive as forgiveness is an act of the will. If we wait to feel like forgiving others, we will never forgive (Bonura 2016, 95-106).

Forgiveness is hard, but it is necessary. Why is that? I love the fact that the human body is fearfully and wonderfully made. Scientists and researchers have found that forgiveness can increase serotonin and oxytocin in the body. Conversely, stress shrinks the brain, decreases serotonin levels, and plays a role in almost every disease. Serotonin regulates anxiety, happiness, and mood. It is produced by the nerve cells and is made from the essential amino acid tryptophan. Here is an amazing fact. Psychologists have found that forgiveness balances serotonin levels. Therefore, they suggest a need for forgiveness, as a proper state of forgiveness could positively impact many with depression and mood disorders.

Forgiveness is one avenue to bring healing to the body. We are reminded that forgiveness is more for us than for others. Forgiveness requires that we consciously decide to reframe our thought processes. Someone has stated that not forgiving others is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. This fact is so true. Forgiveness heals, and a failure to forgive harms us.

Because I am a pastor and chaplain, I cannot help but close with a passage. “For if you forgive others their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive their trespasses” (Matthew 6:15 ESV). Our healing is tied to forgiveness. Jesus knew that we could not walk in forgiveness if we do not forgive others. It is a reciprocal effect.

Releasing others is a critical function of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean that they are released from the responsibility for their actions. As we forgive, healing comes. To be healed, we must step into forgiveness as an act of the will and the heart. If you struggle with forgiveness, speak to someone. Speak to a friend. Speak to a counselor or pastor. Most of all, talk to God, who knows your need, and He knows your heart. Forgiveness is hard, but it is possible, and it is necessary.

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May 3, 2022 · 8:28 pm

Spiritual and Emotional Implications of Trauma

Today, we will look at the spiritual implications of trauma. I am combining the spiritual and emotional impacts of trauma because they are so connected. When facing traumatic events, one can experience extreme emotions. It is also possible to have a faith crisis.

A crisis of faith can result from what has been termed cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a theory formulated by Leon Festinger in the 1950s. This theory states that when an individual holds two or more elements of knowledge relevant to each other but inconsistent with each other, a state of discomfort is created. Spiritually, this can lead individuals to believe their faith is being challenged and what they were taught is now questioned[i].

Churches have correctly taught that God is good. But when facing a traumatic event, God’s goodness can be questioned. We can struggle to understand why certain events happen. For example, we have a loved one killed in a motor vehicle accident. To make matters worse, the other driver was drunk and hit your loved one at a high rate of speed. The driver walks away with little or no injuries. When I was sixteen, my thirteen-year-old brother was killed in a hunting accident. He was killed when a gun we were using went off even though the safety was engaged. He was killed instantly.

When such events happen, we can question the goodness of God. We often ask, “Why God?” Why would God allow my brother to be killed at such a young age? Why at that time? How could a good God allow this to happen? These unanswered questions can draw us into a wave of anger toward God and others. We can begin to blame God. Sometimes we blame ourselves for an event that is beyond our control. And, of course, we blame others.

We need to know that asking the why question is natural during trauma. But, unfortunately, the answer that often comes to those facing trauma is to suck it up! It could be worse! Or have more faith. Now I believe in faith, and I am a man of faith, but I also know that telling someone just to have faith is not enough. For example, Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good.^.” This Scripture expresses an absolute truth, but it is hard to grasp this concept even though we know it to be true when dealing with severe trauma. The problem is that this one Scripture can be overused. Because this passage is misused, it can do more damage than good. People do not need an overused scripture thrown at them because we do not know what to say or do under the circumstances.

Secondly, we have been taught that God loves us. When trauma happens, we think that God does not love us as much as He did. As we begin to question the “why” of tragic events, we can also doubt His love. When we doubt His love, several things can happen. For one, we can reject God as being unloving and harsh. Secondly, we can strive and work for His love. Finally, we strive for a love that is already available to us.

Striving for God’s love creates another layer to the trauma experience. Can you imagine someone experiencing extreme trauma and at the same time feeling unloved? And, to make matters worse, they feel unloved by God. For a good part of my life, I struggled to get God’s approval and get people’s approval. I did not feel loved because I had a poor understanding of love. I grew up in several different family environments. Some were good and some bad. At least two of these environments were not healthy, and I developed an unhealthy view of love and myself. But, I am so glad that I have grown to understand that God loves me regardless. I may not be faithful to Him, but He still loves me. His love is not contingent on what I know but on what He has already done. As a result, I do not beat myself up as much as I did in the past. And my love for others is healthy, and I do not strive for love as much as I did.

Sometimes, church, work, and family environments produce an atmosphere of guilt, shame, and fear. Leaders manage people through fear and guilt. They handle things through an atmosphere of control. So, when trauma happens, people are filled with shame, guilt, and fear. Rather than experiencing the warmth of God’s love and others, they feel rejected and unloved. The reality is that many will not share their true selves and mask who they are. They will cover and hide how they feel when engaged in these environments. They will pretend to be okay so as not to be judged by those around them. They pretend to be okay because they fear the guilt and judgment that will come if they are honest.

Most organizations which include churches, are not equipped to handle trauma. Admittedly, it is a challenge to deal with severe traumatic events. Too often, as noted last week, too many pastors proclaim you need to have faith, and this will pass. They will share their pet passages even if they do not apply to the circumstances presented. They are not equipped to handle the complexity of trauma. In addition, many churches are not equipped to handle the plethora of emotions revealed through trauma.

Leaders of churches and other organizations must learn how to handle trauma and conflict better. For example, I have been listening to podcasts by Christianity Today! The podcasts discuss the rise and fall of Mars Hill and Mark Driscoll. They refer to spiritual trauma experienced due to an attitude of hostility and anger in the church, mainly by Mark himself. There is no doubt many great things that happened for the kingdom of God through Mark and Mars Hills. However, this success has been clouded by the events and the demise of Mars Hill.[ii]

In this post, it may appear that I am coming against the church and organizational structures. I am not against good churches and organizations. I am concerned about environments that produce shame, guilt, and fear more than grace, love, and healing. Many great churches and organizations attempt to do what is right. They have instituted systems that present an atmosphere where it is healthy to deal with trauma and issues without fear, guilt, or excessive control by the leadership.

Let us mention two of them. First, the Sussex County Emergency Medical Services Organization in Delaware has instituted systems to help employees deal with trauma in healthy and productive ways. Second, our home church, Hill City RVA in Richmond, VA, has also established positive systems to assist people in positive ways without judging them personally. We will discuss these organizations more in the future.

Finally, as I close this discussion if you feel unloved, know you are loved. You are loved more than you will ever know! Know that trauma takes time. Do not let anyone push you to do things you are not ready to do. Also, if you are dealing with fear, anger, and shame, forgiveness is the best thing you can do! Forgive God, forgive others, and forgive yourself.

Join us next week as we look at the power of forgiveness related to trauma. See you next week.

[i] Bonura, Dean. 2019. “Post-Traumatic Stress Spirituality and Trauma.” NP. The Warrior’s Journey. Acessed March 15, 2020. https://thewarriorsjourney.org/challenges/spiritual-truam/.

[ii] Christianity Today. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/podcasts/rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill/. These podcasts consists of 13 sessions dealing with spiritual trauma. The hosts of the program deal with the growth of the mega church and the challenges that can come from the speed of the growth. In one of the podcasts, the speakers share that Mark Driscoll’s ability outpaced his character. This is the case in many environments that produce unhealthy systems for dealing with problems.

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Tagged as Anger, Cognitive Dissonance, crisis of faith, Fear, God is good, God's love, Trauma

March 17, 2022 · 3:56 pm

The Effects of Trauma

Robert Odom Ph. D.

Over the last several years, I have been studying the effects of trauma and how trauma impacts us physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally, and spiritually. I know that you know the impact if you have ever experienced trauma. But, before we delve into the specifics, let’s look at trauma as a whole.

First, we will all experience a traumatic event at some point in our life. For others, they have been impacted by several traumatic events.

Second, we never know when we will be impacted by trauma. Trauma most often surprises us. Additionally, we never know how we will respond to a specific trauma we experience. I have found that an individual can experience multiple events with little or no impact. But, for some reason, it can be a lesser event that brings on the symptoms of traumatic exposure.

Third, we will all experience trauma differently. One interesting dynamic of trauma is that two people can experience the same event but have different outcomes. There are multiple reasons why this can occur. The reasons will be discussed in greater detail later.

Fourth, one means to protect oneself against the impact of trauma is to have a resilient spirit. Resiliency is the ability to bounce back. It is the ability to experience a traumatic event and can do so with minimal impact.

As we consider trauma, there are several responses to trauma. Let us consider those for a moment. First, there are physical responses. For example, trauma can cause higher heart rates and higher blood pressure. Additionally, individuals can experience ulcers and other intestinal issues. One can also experience rashes and the onset of skin rashes.

Second, emotionally, individuals experience anxiety, fear, shame, and guilt. Emotionally, one might not be able to sleep as they experience nightmares when they sleep. Conversely, They ruminate over the events and what could have been different when they are awake. They ruminate and revisit all options and consider what they could have done differently.

Third, there are behavioral issues. Those who were punctual are now late for work. Those who used to enjoy their work are now complaining more and seem dissatisfied about their work, coworkers, management, and the work itself.

Fourth, relationally they can begin to experience problems. The problem is that many who experience severe trauma isolate themselves from the rest of the world. They might also manifest unexpected anger at those they love the most.

Fifth, spiritually, one who has experienced can struggle with their faith. During traumatic events, individuals can have a crisis of faith. Sometimes what has been taught through the church does not align with what they are experiencing. There is so much more that can be shared in terms of spiritual effects.

We will continue to look at trauma and the effects of trauma. But, before I close this, let me say that if you are experiencing any of the above, you are normal. These are normal responses to trauma, but unwanted results can occur if we allow these effects to go unaddressed. These results might include PTSD, depression, and more.

Over the next few weeks, I will be presenting more on trauma. My goal is to help those dealing with trauma find hope, help, and forgiveness. Tune in next week.

I welcome your comments and input on this subject. Next time we will look at the emotional responses to trauma.

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March 2, 2020 · 2:34 pm

God is Faithful: He Sustains Us

God is Faithful: He Sustains Us

March 2, 2020

1 Corinthians 1:4-9 – I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge— even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you— so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

This is a powerful verse that has been sustaining and keeping us. We are grateful for the grace of God and all that is doing for us and that He is doing through us. While we are waiting for the revealing of God’s will and purposes in our life, we will trust God to sustain us because He is totally and completely faithful.

With that said, it has been a few weeks since I have posted any thing but I wanted to update everyone on what is happening in our life. For some of my regular readers, that may not know, I resigned as pastor from Peninsula Community Church back in July of last year. At the end of September we transitioned out of the church and moved to Glen Allen, VA to be closer to our kids and grandkids.

In this season of transition, we have tried to be obedient to the call of God and His direction for our life. We have been reminded that there are times when we do not always understand what God is doing but we must be obedient and faithful to obey His word and His calling. While we did not understand the transition, we needed to take this step so we could fulfill the calling of our next step and for the future of the church in Delaware as they sought for the next pastor.

Since leaving Delaware, Michelle and I both have picked up jobs and are working full time. We are blessed and know that God is taking care of us in such amazing ways. I have been working for Life Care Medical Transports and Michelle has been working for Kroger. We are so glad for God’s provision in this regard. Next month we move from our daughter’s house to our own place in Glen Allen.

My current job – My job at Life Care provides an interesting opportunity to interact with the EMS world from a different perspective. We transport patients from hospital to hospital, hospital to nursing home/rehab or to their personal residences. We also assist with those who are not ambulatory with doctors appointments and dialysis appointments. And finally, we do airport transports to meet medical flights coming into and out of Charlottesville or Richmond, VA.

Dissertation – I am working on finishing my dissertation. I have sent the last chapter to my editor and hopefully he will have that completed within the next couple of days. Once that is completed I can send the last three chapters of my dissertation to the dissertation committee chair who can then approve these chapters. Once that is completed I can then send the entire document to the committee for approval which will be followed by the oral argument. Once all that is approved, I will officially have completed my PhD and will graduate. This has been a long journey, but the end is near.

Chaplain Certification – In addition to finishing my dissertation, I am pursuing a certification for chaplaincy. I have been blessed to have served in several great organizations in the past as a chaplain. During those times I served because the organizations knew me and invited me into the process. Since I am new to this area and do have the same relationships, I now have to complete the certification process. This requires taking up to four classes which includes a commitment of 400 hours for each class. Each class includes 100 hours of class time and 300 hours of onsite work at a local hospital, nursing home, or other certified facility. To begin the certification process I have to complete at least two CPEs.

Workplace Chaplaincy – One of the jobs I have been pursing is workplace or corporate chaplaincy. This is an interesting facet of chaplaincy as companies hire chaplains to be available to minister to their employees and their families. At this time, there are no openings in the Richmond area but I am pursuing this opportunity any way so when there might be an opening I will be ready to pursue it. My prayer is that something will open up soon.

New Church Home – Michelle and I have found a wonderful church. Finding this church was a work of God. In the 1980s I pastored a church in Bohemia, NY. One of the key families in the church had two daughters that grew up and later moved to the Richmond area. About seven years ago Michelle was on an airplane coming back from a conference in Puerto Rico. She had been delayed in Charlotte, NC, and once she boarded the plane, she heard someone call her name. It was one of the daughters from 30 years earlier. The two of them have kept in touch since then and when we moved to Richmond we asked what church she attended. She stated she attended Hill City RVA. We met her at church the next Sunday and the rest is history as they say.

We are getting connected and love the pastor and the people at the church. The church has an incredible vision to reach Richmond for Christ by supporting organizations in the city that are impacting the city in positive ways. They do not want to reinvent the wheel where people are already being successful in what they are doing. They also have a mentality of generosity. For example, in November they encouraged people to consider donating one day’s salary to the church. They received nearly $150,000 which 100% of the funds were used to support local projects and programs in the city. They gave it all way. I also love the church because they encourage the people to be curious about their faith and to ask questions about the church and their faith. They consider no question out of bounds and do not judge anyone for asking questions. Through this process of discovery in being free ask their questions, people are finding Christ and are being encouraged to grow in their faith.

Lessons – Through this process I have once again been assured of God’s faithfulness and His love for Michelle and I. Below are just a few of the reminders of God’s Grace and the lessons learned over the last few months.

God never fails nor forgets us. If I am to be honest, and I am, there have been times over the last few months where I have felt alone and forgotten. I have at times felt a bit like Joseph who found himself in the pit and in prison. I felt the pain of loneliness and confusion about what the future would bring us. When we left Delaware we left many friends and relationships so dear to us. Here in Virginia it has taken some time to build new relationships. While I experienced the sense of loneliness like Joseph, I have also found God in my place of loneliness. The fact is God does no forget us. He does not forsake us. This also meant I had to be intentional about making new friends and building new relationships to counter my loneliness.

I do not have to lead a church to be a pastor. I have questioned God if my season of ministry is over but the calling that God put on my heart more than 40 years ago has been renewed in me again and again. I have been reminded that I do not have to be a pastor to be in ministry. There is a new fire burning in me to consider alternative ways to minister to the people around us and in the communities we touch with our lives. I have found that I am a minister of the gospel not because I am a pastor because I am a passionate follower of Christ.

My identity is not in what I do but who I am in Christ. For the first few weeks here I struggled with identity. After all I had been a pastor, a fireman, a chaplain, and more in my previous commitment. But I have been reminded that my identity is not in what I do but in whom I serve. I will never cease to have a pastor’s heart but my identity is not in being a pastor. It is in serving the One who called me and instilled in me a vision for ministry more than 40 years ago. That does not have to be a church, but the field of ministry is wherever God might lead. It could be a church. It could be as a hospital chaplain, marketplace Chaplian, or something I have not considered.

If I trust God and not man, I will not be disappointed. Through the last few months I have had some commitments made and many if not most of those commitments have been broken. But, in this I realized that I was trusting man more than I was trusting God. I was trusting people to come through for me, but I needed to trust God for His provision. When all things are considered, man can disappoint but God does not.

Comparing myself to others does not benefit me spiritually or emotionally. This one is a hard one for me. When I arrived here I began to see other pastors I knew who were being successful in major ways in their ministries. Their churches were growing and expanding. They were being sent on sabbaticals to be refreshed and to write. They were being asked to speak at conferences. One pastor was posting pictures of their new building they were erecting. Through comparison I in essence was operating with a spirit of jealousy and envy. I was jealous that I was not experiencing those things. I was becoming envious of other’s successes. But I was reminded that walking in a spirit of comparison which led to jealously and envy did not benefit me or my growth. Thanks be to God, I was able to confess that sin and see that God has washed (and still washing) my heart and spirit.

I have been in the wilderness but in the wilderness I am reminded that God is my provider. He provides the meat, the bread, and the water we need. And, He provides it when we need it. We learn that God will lead us with a cloud by day and fire by night. We learn that He does not give us the entire plan all at once even though we wish He would. We learn that our resources will go farther than we ever thought. It is in the wilderness that we learn to trust God so that when we come to the place of promise, we know how to trust Him in the good times. In the wilderness, I have been stripped but I have been fed and restored beyond measure.

So many have asked us how we are doing. So let me tell you. We are trusting God. We are leaning hard on Him for His provision. We are leaning hard on Him for our future. We are leaning hard on His guidance as to what He ultimately wants for us to do and to accomplish. We do not know what the future will bring, but we know the One who leads our future and that is all we need. Is it easy? Not always, but it forces us to bow our hearts, our will, and our plans to the living God.

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Tagged as Faithfulness, future, God’s faithfulness, Transition, trusting God, vision

September 23, 2019 · 8:20 am

Final words of encouragement

September 18, 2019

Jude 1:24-25 Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Today marks the end of a journey for Michelle and I. This afternoon we will begin a new chapter in our lives, as will you as a church. In this moment my mind is swirling with so many memories from the last nine years of ministry here at PCC. I want to make this moment to thank you for being a part of our lives. We have learned so much from so many of you. Your courage through the struggles you faced have been a source of encouragement for us. We have been blessed to watch how God has grown so many of you in the Lord over these years. In our conversations and from your questions you have encouraged me to be a better person, better pastor, and have even forced me to consider what I believe so that I can communicate that in a better way.

As we leave, today, we leave with a part of all of you in our hearts. Through these almost nine years we have laughed together. We have cried together. We have just sat and rested in the silence of the moment. Sometimes this happened at McDonalds. Sometimes it was in the ER. Sometimes it was in your homes. Sometimes it was by your bed or the bed of your loved. We were together as some of you were in the hospital recovering from surgery or dealing with the pain of a disease that was controlling your body or the body of your loved you. With many of you we have shared our lives and you have shared some of your deep hurts. Someone asked me the other day if I would continue to keep all of their secrets secret. Please know that is the truth as I leave today I carry with me your stories, your pain, your joy, and so much more. I trust that in these nine years we have made some difference in your life.We may part ways today and go our separate ways, but as believers in Christ we know we will meet again.

I could spend so much time on these things but I want to share some encouragement and turn our attention toward God and not myself. As I preparing for this, I wanted to share some things that would encourage you and leave you focused on the greatness of God and not on Bob Odom. The first thing I want you know is that God has a plan. We have talked about this often over the last few weeks but I wanted to reinforce this again today. Just because we do not understand the plan does not diminish the work of the Lord. In a particular segment of time we often do not always understand God’s will, but as we are obedient to His will and we align ourselves with His purposes, God’s blessings flows from us to those around us and we begin to see more clearly what God’s will is for us.

How do I know that God has plan? It is because the idea of transition is nothing new. Throughout Scripture there have been those who have transitioned and given their leadership over to another. We see this with Moses. We see this with Elijah. We see it with David. Transitions have occurred before and God uses them to bring us to the next place in our lives. Since this is not anything new, what is happening today is not the end of the world because God has a plan for you which means there are better days ahead for you. God has the new pastor already picked out and he will be the perfect pastor for this church.

We have talked about this before, but remember that Moses led the Children of Israel in the wilderness but he was not allowed to enter into the promise land. God’s plan was to prepare Israel for the Promised Land and God used Moses to get the people to the place where they were ready to enter what had been promised to them. You see during the wilderness journey, they needed to have a change of heart and during this journey they were able to see this happen. While they had been delivered out of Egypt, they still needed to be emptied of the ways of Egypt in their heart. God did that through the 40 days in the wilderness. They were now prepared to enter the promise. But Moses would not lead them. Joshua was to do that and we find in the Book of Joshua that under his leadership they conquered and took the land on behalf of God. I pray that under the leadership of the new pastor that you will do just that.

When it was time for Elijah to pass from this life to the next Elisha asked that he be given a double portion of what Elijah had. Elijah’s response was if you are with me when I exit this world, I will give you my mantle and will pass along the anointing that has been with me. As we read the story, we find that as Elijah was taken up to heaven in a whirlwind, the mantle of Elijah fell upon Elisha. And as we follow the story, we find that Elisha did do twice as many miracles as Elijah. May this church flourish and grow in the days ahead and do so much more than ever imagined!

David handed the leadership of the kingdom to Solomon. David’s greatest desire was to see the temple built but that did no happen under David’s reign, it was built under Solomon’s. It was under Solomons’ reign that the Shekeinah glory filled the temple and the worshippers could not stand in the presence of God.

Please know that I do not by any means compare myself to any these as they are so much greater than I am or could be, but this I pray, may God use this transition to bring greater things to this church. The new leader will come with fresh vision and a new sense of God’s will. He will love you and will be the catalyst for a new day for PCC and this community. I so look forward to hearing the reports of all that God is doing and how His will is being accomplished.

With that said let me share a couple of things with you. First, know that we will be praying for you. We have already been praying for you and we will continue to pray for you. We will be praying for the growth of the body. We will be praying for greater things to come. We will be praying for God to do a new and exciting work in you and through you. My prayer is that He fill you with His grace and power. While we will be praying for you, I ask that you pray for us as we continue to seek God’s will and purpose in our life. There is power in prayer and by praying we are focused on the things of God. Prayer is the thing that will focus us on what God wants of us and how He wants us to live. So, pray for us and we will certainly be praying for you.

Secondly, the best days for PCC are still ahead. God will build on the past and I am sure that the future will look differently than anything we can picture now. God will bring you the right person at the right time so that God’s name is glorified and honored. After all this is God’s church. It has been God’s church and it continues to be God’s church. I so love the passage in Matthew that says that the gates of hell will not prevail against the church.

Third, continue to grow in Christ. Seek after God. Seek His will and His purposes so that you are enlarged in your spiritual experience. Draw closer to God. In this regard, I am like Paul, in the New Testament. I would count it a privilege to know and hear of your growth in Christ. Be passionate followers of Christ. Show the love of Christ to all you encounter. Dig into the word of God and make it your own so that you can share your life from the depths of what God has done in you. If I have made a difference in your life, it has been not because I am perfect or that I know it all, but that I have tried my best to be an example of Christ in all I do. I have tried to model for you what a true believer in Christ looks like so that what you see is Him and not me.

Four, continue to grow in your relationship with one another. Grow in Christ, yes, but grow in your relationship with one another also. Continue to gather for fellowship. Continue to meet in the small groups. This church has so much to offer: Tuesday Men’s Group, Ladies Tuesday Study, BSF on Thursday, and the Ladies Thursday group. Continue to give and continue to be a part of Sunday Morning services.

Fifth, when God brings you a new pastor love him and support him. Invite him to dinner or lunch. As you did nine years ago, when we arrived, show up and help him move. Pray for him and love him. As has been stated, previously, he will not be like me and that is a good thing. He will come with his experiences, his talents, his abilities, and his personality. He will come with his particular vision for ministry and he will have his own way of doing things but I know that he will lead you to a new day and a new vision.

So as I close, may God bless you and keep you. We love you and we are grateful for your love for us and all that means. I am grateful for these nine years of ministry here and I am grateful for each of you and the blessing you have been to us. I close with the passage I began with. Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Let us pray.

For an audio of this message go to http://pccministry.org/messages.

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Tagged as Better days, Final words, Transition

September 15, 2019 · 4:16 pm

Trust in the Lord!

Peninsula Community Church

September 15, 2019

Psalm 37:1-6 Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

There is so much in life that brings us reason to give up and give in. There is so much that could give us a reason to throw our hands up and run and hide but that has never been the work of the Lord. It has never been the desire of God that this would be the way things would be.

In verse 1, this passage begins with the idea that we are not to fret about things. The problem with worry and envy is that we give power to those things to control our life. We worry about things that do not matter. We envy what others have without recognizing what God has done in us. The outcome of worry and fretting is that we give power to those things and in so doing we allow them to control us. You may have experienced this. Someone says something to you. It may be just one word or phrase. But that one word or phrase sticks with us and we become focused on that and it becomes the focus of what we think about.

I remember when I left for Bible College that my dad said to me. “Why do you want to go to college? Why don’t you stay home and work? Do what your brother is doing?” Those statements messed with my thinking and for years I felt that I did not have my dad’s blessing. For years I was trying get his blessing. I worked harder. I studied harder. I graduated with honors from Bible school. And yet I never seemed to please my dad. Those statements began to control my actions and they began to control my emotions. It wasn’t until I learned that I had to let go of those desires and attempt to please God because the reality was that I might never get my dad to believe in me. I was so relieved when I was able to let those words go and let God fill me with the assurance that He has it under control.

The point is those words began to control me. They did not have to but they did. They did not have to push me down but they did. But when we take those thoughts captive and we judge them through the template of God’s grace and His mercy, we find that the words and actions of those around us do not have to hold us in bondage. The sad part is that later in life I found that my dad had always been proud of me. He just did not know how to communicate that. So, I spent years holding things that were not really true.

That is why David so beautifully shares these words. That is why David lays out a plan for us to live effective, passionate, and committed lives. Notice that rather than fretting or worrying we should trust in the Lord. Trust is an amazing word. It is a word that is easier said and communicated than lived out. It is an action that is hard to define and enact because for us as believers it is hard to believe and hold onto what is not seen. It is hard to trust sometimes what we do not know.

It is hard to trust God for tomorrow because we do not see tomorrow. When we made the decision to start this transition we knew there we would be so many unknowns. But that is where trust is best envisioned and that is where trust is best formulated for the life we need. When we trust God, we will begin to see how much we are blessed of God. That is why I love what Adrian Rogers has stated. I am too blessed to be stressed. He has suggested that the best way to look at this passage is to understand that the word trust means to be face down and have run out of all options, but it is here that you will trust the Lord as your only source and hope. I do not stress because, I am blessed by a heavenly Father that loves me immensely.

That was the very basis for the beatitudes of the New Testament. Blessed are you when …… and you fill in the blank. Listen to Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:3-12. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

David in the passage before us today reminds us that we are called not only to trust the Lord but we are to do good. Most people withdraw or retreat when things get tough. They act of the hurt and the struggle, but that is not what the psalmist tells us to do. We are to move forward. We are continue to do what we know to do and do it well. Adrian Rogers suggests that God puts you in school. And God will keep you there until you pass the test. If you flunk out the first time, He will enroll you again. Therefore do good! Walk in righteousness even though you might have every reason not to do so.

I love this next section. How wonderful it is to know that we can delight ourselves in the Lord. When your dreams, your hopes, and your thoughts about your future are dissolved, stop and delight yourself in the Lord. Here is what David says. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. When our dreams dissolve it is tempting to lose heart. It is tempting to fret and worry. Why is that? It is because our joy is threatened. The solution is to find a joy that cannot be threatened. That joy is only resourced by the Lord and is only found in the Lord. Corrie Ten Boom said, Look around and you’ll be distressed. Look within, and you’ll be depressed. Look to the Lord, and you’ll be at rest. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

The idea suggested through this passage is that we make Jehovah, the Lord, the joy and rejoicing in our spirit. Think about this for a moment. If we remember that God is ours, there will be no incentive to worry or fret. To remember that God is ours and we are His means that we can trust Him and we can delight ourselves in the Lord.

The promise is that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart. But notice this, if our delight is in the Lord then we will not ask for anything that is opposed to His will or outside the bounds of His will and His purpose. We will delight in Biblical truth. We will delight in God’s promises. We will delight in God’s character and recognize that He loves us and cares deeply for us.

It is here that David makes this powerful statement of hope. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. So let me ask you, when you feel threatened or life is fighting against you what do you do? When we have committed our way to the Lord, we do fret? We do not worry? We do not lose trust? I love this. four times in the New Testament we are told not to lose heart. And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1). Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart (2 Corinthians 4:1). So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16). So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory (Ephesians 3:13). It has been suggested that the word here for “way” really means “lifestyle.” It carries the idea of a well traveled path. This means that we rest in the Lord. When we live a life filled with commitment to Christ we will rise above the fray and above the problems of life.

When we commit our ways to the Lord He will act on our behalf. I love what Psalm 55:22 says. Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Solomon wrote, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones” (Proverbs 3:5-8).

When trials arise, do you run toward the Lord? Or do you try to handle things yourself? He who created you can handle any difficulty and pain, even when it seems overwhelming. What He desires is your surrender and trust. It is in His arms that you will find rest for your soul.

Are you delighted by God? Do you take pleasure in God? Are you satisfied with God? Do you look to stand on what God has revealed about Himself in His Word. Do you delight in knowing Him? Are you awestruck by His Will and Commands? Do you see God as He is presented in the Scripture and desire Him? Do you want to know Him? Do you want to please Him? Do want to be satisfied with Him? Do you know there is and can never be anything or anyone greater? Do you desire to do everything in your life to delight in God?

If you were given one choice, would you want God more than money, more than comfort, more than sex, more than security, more than praise, more than food, more than honor, more than ability, more than friends, more than family, and more than fame. If you had the choice between God and knowing Him and everything beautiful and pleasurable in all of Creation, would you choose God? I hope that you would. Let’s pray.

For an audio of this message go to http://pccministry.org/messages.

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