Tag Archives: Communication

November 3, 2022 · 1:02 pm

Creating Healthy Work Environments: Reducing Trauma in the Workforce!

We have spoken about toxic environments before, but I want to add to that discussion today. This discussion will apply to all kinds of organizational structures. This will include churches, businesses, volunteer, and nonprofit organizations. The goal is to reduce stress and increase healthy input and productivity.

For organizations to reach their potential, leaders must develop an environment where those within the organization are supported and valued. Team members will want to succeed and take ownership of their assignments when supported and valued. When a team member is not supported or valued, issues arise. Members can begin to think that what they contribute does not matter. And they will not work to their fullest potential.

There are many ways to support members that do not cost much money. Encouraging workers and team members go a long way. Provide incentives for good work. Give extra paid time off. Celebrate positive achievements. Give room for suggestions and ideas. Consider these ideas and find ways to implement the good ones. This gives ownership to the people in the group. And without saying, recognize the people who have good ideas. Don’t take credit for someone else’s ideas.  

Most people do not like to be micromanaged. Micromanagers mean well, but in the end, they can cause insecurities and mistrust within the environment! Trust the people to do the job. Do not be a helicopter boss. If a team member needs to improve their ability to meet the requirements or work to the required level, provide instruction and additional training. Do so gracefully and lovingly. The goal is to grow the person and not just discipline them. Talk about improvements. Let them make suggestions and, where possible, use those suggestions. Afterward, follow up and communicate periodically with the team member. In some cases, the leader may need to consider other areas of work or different assignments that fit better within their skill set.

Working with team members not meeting the task requirements will also build morale. Nothing is worse or more frustrating than having a team member not pulling their weight. This person would be sidelined in the sports world until they can improve. I am not suggesting that these team members be sidelined but that they receive additional training and an explanation of the goals and expectations of the job.

Poor communication and a lack of vision cause issues. Poor communication will be the cause of many organizations’ low morale. I encourage over-communicating the vision, purpose, and goals of the organization. Nothing is worse than inadequately communicating goals, process changes, and assignments. This can lead to confusion, nonproductivity, and inadequate use of human resources.

Once communicated, changes must be shared. I spoke with some in one organization who said that one problem is that the goal line keeps changing. They head to the goal line only to find that it has moved. Or, worse, the goal line has been completely relocated to another field. The point is that they get frustrated. They can only finish one task after another priority or goal is put in motion. This can develop apathy and discouragement in the workforce.

Communication and vision are critical components to the successful implementation of organizational goals. “Without a vision, people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). A vision not communicated is unfulfilled. “Write the vision, make it plain so that the one who hears can run with it” (Habakkuk 2:2). The vision should be understood, communicated, and written so that team members can implement it. Nothing is worse than having a vision that cannot be communicated succinctly or enacted because it is too complicated.

One final thought is the unwritten rules people are expected to live by. Every organization has policies and guidelines and a set of unwritten rules. Other times what is communicated corporately is different from what happens. For example, a church I was on staff often said they were friendly. In many cases, this was true, but after researching and asking newcomers to the church about their experience, I found this was not always the case. People who were not connected to someone in the church before they attended felt that the church was not as friendly as communicated. The positive is that we met with key leaders and discussed ways to change the environment to match what was being communicated. Unwritten rules may include time off, open-door policies, dress codes, etc.

As leaders, we must choose how we will lead. Will we dominate those we lead, or will we develop an inclusive, integrated, and growth-oriented organization? Will we address the unwritten rules or let things remain the same? It is our decision. It is our choice. Our actions will determine the environment and character of those on the team.

Questions for consideration:

  1. Are there areas in your organization where communication can be enhanced?
  2. What can you do in your organization to show support and value to team members?
  3. Do you micromanage those you lead? Why do you think you do this?
  4. Are there team members needing to be confronted about their performance? What precisely will you do to make this a success?
  5. How can you improve communication in your organization?
  6. What are the unwritten rules that need to be addressed?

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July 21, 2022 · 12:44 pm

The Lost Art of Conversation

As I look over the landscape of life, one of the issues I am seeing is that we have lost the power of conversation and exploring others’ ideas. Too often, communication is relegated to demanding acceptance and a loud tone of argumentation. What is lost is the art of listening to others. What is lost is the ability to understand what the other person is communicating and why.

I wonder how different things would be in our world if we listened more and talked less. I wonder how different things would be if we communicated to understand others rather than trying to force people to believe what we believe. I wonder how different things would be if we talked not to persuade but to learn more about the other person.

Now I realize that there are moments when we need to speak for influence but too much of communication today is to persuade someone to agree with us at all costs. And, when they disagree, we turn to angry and defiant forms of communication, or we use the power of the silent treatment. And worse, we communicate about the other person with other people. We gossip and tear down the other person without ever communicating with them. We assume we know them and judge their thoughts and motives.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that did all the talking? Have you been with someone who did not seem interested in what you had to say? Have you ever ended a conversation where you did not know what had been communicated because it seemed highly one-sided? Have you had conversations where the other person’s primary focus was to persuade you or convince you to agree with them? Too often, I wonder if people are trying to persuade me to believe their point of view rather than have a conversation. Or worse, they are not interested in what I have to say or believe.  

There are so many issues today where this is applicable. As I look at the problems around us today, there are many places where the art of listening is critical. These include but are not limited to abortion, racism, religion, politics, climate change, or gay rights. What would happen if we could have a dialogue that is not accusatory, angry, or trying to persuade others to join “our side.” What if we asked questions to explore what the other person believes and why? What if we asked follow-up questions to find out more?

I have been amazed at what I have learned by listening to people and hearing their hearts. The fact is that I have often found that we have more to agree on than I imagined. I have learned that we are saying the same thing in many cases but in very different ways. Even when we are communicating different things, when we listen to others, we can learn from them. Why do they believe what they believe? Why do they hold onto that viewpoint?

I admit that it is often hard to listen. I want to interject my ideas and thoughts. I want to prove my position. I want others to get in line and follow my ideology. I can become impatient in the process. But it doesn’t work that way. We must listen to gain perspective.

During my years as a chaplain, I attempted to listen to those I was called to serve. It was always fun for me and a challenge to have them open up and talk. I am referring specifically to the paramedics and firefighters I helped. I laughed the first few times I would do a ride-along. Most often, before people got to know me, I was not well received, or I was received with an extended hand that spoke that I was to keep my distance. They had previous experiences that had soured their view of the chaplaincy. Some of the earlier chaplains did more preaching than listening. They would carry big Bibles and quote obscure or often misquoted scriptures.

However, their responses did not deter me but challenged me to communicate in a way that would get them to share about themselves. It did not take long for the paramedics and fire department if I asked a few key questions. I would start with “How long have you been doing this?” I would follow up with “What made you desire to become a paramedic?” And then, “What was the most memorable call you have ever been on?” This was usually followed by “What was the worse call you ever had?”

I was amazed that these simple and sincere questions opened doors for further communication. When asking these questions, I fought the battle to cut them off and resolve problems. Because I volunteered for a local fire department, they often asked me questions. It was interesting what questions I would be asked. Most often, I think it was to get a reaction. But I would share my thoughts but the conversation back to them and ask, “what is your opinion or thoughts on this?” My goal was to keep my answers short and turn the discussion back to them as soon as possible.

Some of the other paramedics who knew me well were surprised when some would stay after their shift to talk about issues in their life. It was in these discussions that I could share my views and give counsel. The biggest reason for this was that I was willing to listen.

Listening is not easy, but it is worth it. One of the biggest things I found in studying the issue of trauma is people need an outlet to talk. They do not need their problem solved. They need to talk. They do not need us to use language that deters healing and brings a deeper wound.

What would happen if we listened to the young mom who finds herself pregnant? What if we talked and listened rather than judged or brought accusations against her? What about people who may be different than us? They may differ by race, gender, sexual preference, political party, or religious persuasion. What could we learn from them? What could we learn about ourselves?

James, a pastor in the early church, had this to say, and it bears mentioning. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

As I close, I challenge you to find someone different in viewpoints and ideologies. Connect with them and listen. Ask open-ended questions that require more than one-word answers. This may take more than one meeting as the other person may need to feel secure in talking and not being judged or persuaded to believe another way. Try it. You might like it. And, in the process, you may find out some things about others that will amaze you. And who knows, you might find out something about yourself.

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June 30, 2022 · 8:28 am

Giving Grace and Receiving Grace: The Pro-Life/Pro-Abortion Issue

Robert W. Odom Ph. D.

I have been dealing with the subject of trauma over the last several weeks. Today, I will continue to do that but from a different perspective. This past week the Supreme Court made a landmark decision by overturning the Roe vs. Wade decision. For some, this decision has rocked their world. For others, this has been a moment of ecstatic celebration. I am pro-life and stand against all injustice, but I have concerns about the reactions to the decision. I am worried about the unintended consequences that often come from such choices.

As I write this, I cannot help but think of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11). The spiritual leaders wanted to stone her and were authorized to do so according to their laws. But Jesus came to establish a new way of living. It was the way of grace, love, justice, and forgiveness. It is noteworthy that when Jesus arrived on the scene, He came alongside the woman, not the spiritual leaders. There is no denial of her sin by Jesus. There is, however, a judgment of the spiritual leaders who took the wrong view of justice and the law.

In this discussion, Jesus did something unique and so out of context. He heard them speak against the woman. They were very vocal in acknowledging her sin. After listening to their concerns, He knelt and wrote in the sand. I believe He began to list their sins that were also punishable by stoning. He did not make a big deal about it, but He made His point without a word. As He arose, He made a remarkable statement. If there is no sin in your life, be the first to throw your stones at her. Slowly one by one, they all left the area as they stood guilty of sin themselves.

When they left, He spoke to the woman. “Where are your accusers? I do not condemn you, go and sin no more.” He did not guilt her. He did not condemn her. He did not judge her. He released her. But He also commanded her not to sin anymore. He counseled her to find a different path in her life. He, in essence, was urging her to take another course. We do not know what led her to this moment in time, but the laws were against women in that culture. If she was single or widowed, she had little support. The culture would have rejected her.

My point in sharing this story is that while we might be pro-life, are we pro-woman. How do we support the women who find themselves pregnant? As a church or pro-life community, are we providing the necessary funds to help women find jobs, healthcare, and support during and after pregnancy? Or do we ostracize these women as the spiritual leaders of Jesus’ day did? Do these women have to fend for themselves? Do we condemn and judge those who find themselves pregnant?

I ask this. While legislators are making laws to abolish abortion, are they increasing support for adoptions, care for the mom, and other critical support for these women? In my opinion, we cannot have one without the other. Yes, I support the unborn, but I also support the women who find themselves pregnant. They do not need to be stoned but need a community of passionate followers of Christ who will help, love, and care for them.

I have also heard the argument that helping these women frees them to go and do the same thing again. That may or may not be accurate, but that is not a reason to not support them. We must reach them and support their decisions in keeping their child or giving the child to an adoptive family. I question where we would be if we did not have people who helped us along the way. No matter how successful we might be, we have had people in our life that helped us and opened doors for us.

When discussing forgiveness, Jesus was asked about this crucial aspect of the Christian life (Matthew 18:21-22). How many times do we forgive? Peter, the first to answer, gave the acceptable religious answer. He stated that we should forgive seven times. That was the legal, religious standard of the day. Jesus, who came to turn the culture and religious community upside down, stated, no, we must forgive seven times seventy. This meant an infinite number of times. 

Once again, we must interpret scripture in the context of scripture. After making this statement, Jesus shares a story about a rich man with extensive debt (Matthew 18:23-35). In some ways, He exaggerates the terms to get the disciple’s attention.

A king wished to settle outstanding loans and debts owed to him. One who owed him a considerable amount of money pleaded for mercy. The king had compassion and forgave the loan. Rather than living in the forgiveness he had experienced, the servant found one who owed him money. The total amount he was owed was far less than what he owed the king. But rather than forgive, he took the man by the neck and threw him into jail. The king heard of the insensitivity of the servant and demanded that he pay his debt.

Jesus began this discussion by saying that we must forgive as the heavenly father has forgiven us. Let’s return to our discussion on helping those who find themselves pregnant. We must be reminded how much we have been forgiven. The problem with Christians is that we often forget what God has done for us. He has forgiven all our sins. But too often, what we have received, we struggle to give.

We expect people to live to a standard that, at one time, we struggled to live ourselves. We want forgiveness without giving forgiveness. We hold people to a higher standard than we hold ourselves. It is also a condition of our heart where we tend to categorize our sins into lists of acceptable and unacceptable sins. We judge a pregnant single mom but allow gossip and pride to reign. We judge one living a lifestyle we disagree with, but we are filled with lust and treat others with disrespect. In God’s eyes, there are no good or bad transgressions; a transgression is a transgression.

We are all on a journey, and perhaps a part of that journey is for us to enter a discussion with those we might disagree with. Maybe we should talk with (not to) those experiencing an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. Perhaps we would be better off listening to them. This is not a time to lecture them or throw scripture at them. We might learn much about them if we would listen. Perhaps together, we can find a path to help each other. We can help them provide for their care and their child’s care. They can help us understand their needs and goals in life.

Perhaps a part of our journey is to enter the world of those who support abortion to have a dialogue. I am not talking about the fury evident in some circles now (on both sides of the issue). Jesus did that. Paul did that. They engaged people where they were. They met people at the town center (the well), the city gate, the worship centers of the pagans, and so much more.

When we consider this, how many on the pro-life side have sat with anyone on the pro-abortion side and vice versa? How many have listened to one another to understand their position and why they believe what they believe? I am not saying we should compromise our position, but we must be open to one another’s opinions and ideas.

By following Christ’s example, we can make a difference. We can minister grace and love to those most vulnerable and who most need our love. Yes, we might be pro-life, but we must consider the mother’s life and how we can help them through these dark moments in their lives. Be Christ to someone today.

© Copyright 2022 Robert W. Odom, Ph. D.

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